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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ah, right. So a bit of "give and take" rather than exact accounting for exact hours of work vs holiday. @NightFury

Great to hear that both of them said you would get paid, and that they had checked with HR. I am wondering if a phrase around this could help as a mantra to remind yourself when you feel it rising up again? (not sure if that helps or not, ignore the idea if not!)

I will go to bed soon (just caught up on my backlog of notifications lol), as I do need to be up in the morning. I hope you will be OK tonight and have Luna with you to pat, listen to her breathing and maybe breath in time with her whilst she is sleeping (I think i read about this from @MissGremlin and Cap?)

I hope you can think of something enjoyable to do tomorrow for yourself; relaxing and calming. 😊

Did you and @MissGremlin finish the lego Gremlin yet?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury oh sweetheart, I'm sitting with you. Sorry I couldn't reply i had a phone call to get through that was really hard and it's brought up alot of emotions/thoughts for me. (I'm safe).

Sending you hugs beautiful ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have just crawled into bed too @AlwaysMyself I took my sleep meds, so hopefully they kick in soon and I do crash. It's been a tough couple of days.

We didn't finish our Lego @MissGremlin and I are still working on it.

I was going to take tomorrow easy, and have a movie day or something and then go to lawn bowls training in the late afternoon.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AlwaysMyself myself and @NightFury are still working on it just slowly and steadily ☺️. We've both had our ups and downs lately so it's nice to be able to take things at our own pace.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury i hope you can get a good night's sleep sweet. I will check in with you in the morning ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself thank you for your support tonight

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey there @NightFury, a bit of a delayed reply sorry about that 😊

I love the sound of reiki! I actually haven’t had it myself and now I am actually wondering why 😅. How did you find it? Ahh I see re yoga read up, didn’t so much read up about yoga as such more about emotions ‘held’ in the hips etc. But would like to do a bit more reading I’d say!

No worries re the dive reflex info 😊


Thanks for the tag and update on what’s happening for you at the moment,
I did read that you were understandably cautious re change of med regime and possible increase, totally understandable and I think all of us here would be similar. All the best with that it can be scary, I feel ya.

My observations here is that it all sounds really productive and I hear you are making headway in some areas even despite the challenges of getting a new psych - but knowing it’s “not working” and calling it and onto the next rather that sticking with something not working and your Friday skin check as you know how important it is even though it does bring up those feelings. Awesome effort here nightfury I take my hat off to you 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Morning @NightFury my sweet, just checking in with you today ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I woke feeling okay @MissGremlin

And things have been slowly progressing downwards. I had a phone call...my GP's referral went through, so they're trying to match me to a psychologist who does in person and tele health appointments. They've emailed me a list of options, but it looks like all the options may be too expensive for me, even with a rebate, and none of them mention ERP, which was recommended by my psychiatrist to treat my OCD and anxiety.

So the whole..."nope, can't do it. Too hard, too confusing, too everything" shut down attitude has surfaced.

How has the morning been treating you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I'm sorry things are progressing downwards. Can we maybe see if we can slow or even stop that spiral?

I'm really glad the referral has gone through and that you've got a list of options. But you don't have to make a decision today, maybe today just have a look at what one's are available and seeing if any stand out more than others. It's hard also if they are too expensive but sometimes there is a bit of a window for negotiation with costs which is something to maybe look into if you find one that's suitable.

I completely get why what has surfaced for you sweet and I get the same way, it's ok to pause from it and come back to it later if it's feeling like too much right now.

My morning has been ok, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed so I've decided to put a movie on and do some painting while I wait for my doctors appointment later today.

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