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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't got anything @AuntGlow I'm laying in bed on Christmas Eve feeling silly because I'm crying.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I hope you have an amazing break, and you get to spend time with people you love and that you get to show some love to yourself.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you, that's so kind of you!! @NightFury 🥰

You're allowed to cry tonight. All of what you are feeling is welcome. Sending you the biggest of hugs. 💛

Remember that your forum friends are here for you too.

@MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself @Shaz51 @Cuddlebear

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Awww @NightFury my sweet, I'm here with you. Sending you hugs beautiful ❤️.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Big hug @AuntGlow @MissGremlin

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I’m in bed and here for you. It’s ok to cry. We’re gonna all get through this together. I just said the same thing to Dreamy. We are gonna be ok because we have each other. Honestly just because it’s on line doesn’t mean we are more alone than F2F.

 

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Tomorrow is my first Christmas without my Grandad (he passed away a few months ago). I think the PSW's going on holidays has opened up the flood gates of grief. And a lot of fear and worry about having to navigate things on my own for a while.

I am messy crying!

@Cuddlebear @MissGremlin

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury i hear you sweet. I feel the same way with the peer support workers going on holidays. I will be here sweet and you are welcome to tag me whenever. Hoping we can work on our lego together if you are up for it ☺️.

It's ok to cry sweet, just know I'm sitting with you ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I dont think crying is silly @NightFury , no matter when it is. Plenty of evenings i have sat crying alone, including supposed "special occasions".

Sitting with you, along with @MissGremlin and @Cuddlebear . We're here for you.

I can understand why PSW going on break would be triggering and feelings of anxiety heightened. I'm sorry that it is your first christmas without your Grandad. Do you feel like honouring his memory/presence in any way? E.g. some people set a spare seat for loved ones not present.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @AlwaysMyself

I will find some way to honour his memory. I want to go with what feels most natural. So I'll see with what comes up tomorrow.

I'm going to tap out. Know that I'm safe. I just need to try and get some sleep.

@AlwaysMyself @MissGremlin @Cuddlebear

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