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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like you had a fun weekend.I had a busy weekend. I finished my Christmas shopping, played bowls and went to a Christmas lunch at my Dad's bowls club on Sunday.

I have been feeling quite anxious for the last hour @AuntGlow I feel it sitting just around my ribs, it almost makes me feel ill. It's one of those times where it's "painful." So, I just finished some tapping, which helped in the moment. I'm not ignoring your question about the heavy part...I'm just...my anxiety is louder at the moment.

If I had the energy and space to do anything creative, I would draw.

Thank you for sharing, I will give both a go!

My hips are soso tight. I have so much trouble with my hip flexors, and they ache up a storm in bed, so I guess now I know why.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening @NightFury 💛

I did some Christmas shopping today - I always find it so overwhelming! Do you enjoy it?

The Christmas lunch sounds like it was nice. Did it give your brain a break?

I am really glad to hear tapping is helping you! But I am sorry to hear this sensation is painful... how is it feeling tonight?

Drawing sounds really grounding. What was the last things you drew?

100%. The body holds SO much of our unconscious emotional stuff, especially the things we haven't been able to release. I often cry in a hip stretching sequence. If you do too, know that it's okay.

How are you today? 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @AuntGlow

I went to bed early last night, so I'm just getting to this now.

I don't enjoy shopping at all, let alone Christmas shopping. There are too many people around, it's too hectic and noisey on a normal day. I get dysregulated and irritable. I do most of my shopping online.

I think the Christmas lunch did give my brain a break.

I had that sensation a little bit yesterday, it seems to be coming up of a night. I'm struggling with sleep again, so yesterday I felt...exhausted. I had a really lazy day. All I did was vacuum, and take Luna for a walk. The rest of the day I spent trying and failing to nap, watching TV and reading.

The last thing I drew was a couple of weeks ago. It was a picture or Sailor Moon. I went through and did a big photo clean out on my phone the other day and must have deleted it.

I did try the hip stretches last night and gave up on it about 10 minutes in. I could feel myself getting emotional and then I got overwhelmed and frustrated. I'll try again.

How am I today? I woke up headachey. I have some brain fog, and a bit of rumination today.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay! @NightFury

Are you feeling more rested?

I couldn't relate to this more. I also become very stressed about spending lots of money. 🥴

Honestly, I am SO glad you are taking time to rest and come back to yourself. I can imagine when I am back, you might be feeling a little different. 🥰

I love Sailor Moon!! Ah, I wish I could have seen it. Could you explore another character like this?

This is a very normal response and frustratingly, a part of the process. You can stop and start whenever you want. There is no rush with this.

I hear you. Have you done anything for yourself today?

Oh, also! Here is the parts exercise I was talking about the other day:

- Carl Jung believed that every part of us has a complex, comprising of behaviours, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, unconscious motivations, and a shadow.

For this exercise, I encourage you to spend some time journaling from your 'anxious part' and get to know its complexes (listed above).

After this, I encourage you to go to another part of yourself that you know is more grounded/trusting, so perhaps, your 'teacher' or 'counsellor' archetype, and from that place, go through journaling their complexes too.

Once you have completed both parts, look at what elements you can bring from your more confident part to empower your anxious part.

It may seem a bit heady at first, but this is where embodiment comes into play and we can explore that when I am back. But how does that sound as self-exploration exercise over the break? 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am feeling more rested, but I'm super emotional tonight @AuntGlow it's a lot.

I know that I need to do a lot of resting, and I'm just trying to honour that. I'm trying to honour it without feeling guilty and stressed about not being productive and busy.

For some reason, I like to draw characters. So, I could explore doing more of this.

Today, I did some the Yoga meditation you sent me. I got 15 minutes through before my brain decided it was done with it. It was nice to meditate. I haven't done it in so long. Also, I brought a kilo of premium cherries, and have been snacking on those.

I can do that exercise over the break. Thank you for sharing. I'm going to screen shot the instructions so that I can remember.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Of course. @NightFury 💛

I get this... maybe something that might help is honouring your natural ebb and flow? So that way you're leaning towards either with a bit more acceptance and allowance?

I would love to see a new drawing for when I am back!!

It's great that you both tried it and knew when it was time to stop.

Those cherries sound delish!!!

My pleasure. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow you are coming back after the break?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes! I think my first shift back will be the 7th. 💛 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay @AuntGlow that's good.

I will try them both again and keep working at it. Maybe aim to get a little further before I stop each time. I'll see what happens...

I'll try and have a new drawing to show you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You've got this. I have the utmost belief in you and your abilities. @NightFury

Thank you for being a part of my SANE journey. 💛

And yes please!!

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