Acceptance is hard work

I'm with @AlwaysMyself on this one @NightFury particularly if you're in autistic burnout. Thing is, some treatment pathways prescribed for particular 'conditions' (or if you like, lasting trauma-responses) will work for NTs who 'apply themselves' - but ND folks brains literally work differently! So in fact, 'trying harder' can contribute to worsening MH because not only does it not work, but we also have to then navigate that feeling of self-rejection when we feel like we're failing at something, which compounds the shame and just contributes to more feelings of distress.

Do you know if this therapist person is neuro-affirming, like do they list it on their profile/website whatever, do they seem to know much about ND brains and how we're wired differently?

@Jynx she mentions on her profile that she's passionate about treating adults with ADHD, but it's just one thing in a list of things she's passionate about. I'm not sure how much experience she has working with ND brains. But, I also note that I don't think they diagnose ADHD or Autism because I have a seperate referral for that, for a different clinic.

The appointment was for a one off assessment, and treatment plan. So, it's not a regular thing.

hahah I actually had a feeling you might say that about the alarms. 😂 @NightFury

Maybe a better way of exploring it is simply noticing when you're not being compassionate and recognising it as a familiar pattern that you'd like to shift?

"Not having anxiety as a constant companion" - oof. I can relate to this massively.

Anxiety does such an amazing job of keeping us safe (even if it is often misplaced), so it really is a companion. I wish I could voice message because I have so many thoughts and experiences around this, but I will try and keep it succinct.

I understand what you mean by not feeling like 'you' when you're regulated. I recall having that experience once when I was in deep meditation. I felt SO safe and I was like, 'wait wtf' and messaged my therapist like, 'girl what is this?!' hahaha

And she just said it makes sense because I haven't had enough practice being in that space of grounding and trust. I can imagine this would be similar for you - this anxious part is very well-rehearsed, she's had a lot of stage time and she knows her part back to front! But these other parts are still there, they are still you. They just need a bit more stage time. And even though it feels scary and strange at first, the more you start to explore what these other parts have to say and what they authentically want to do, the less overwhelming it will feel. And in fact, I get the sense you will feel even more like you, because some of your other wonderful facets of self will get the spotlight too. 🤩

I actually think this is such a great opportunity to look at Internal Family Systems a bit more - they help create so much clarity around our different parts of self. I have an activity I learned in class that I could share! Whenever you have the space, of course. For now, maybe just acknowledging these feelings is enough? Knowing this about yourself is so incredibly helpful - and not silly at all.

I didn't want to say it about the alarms because I value all suggestions, but they would honestly annoy me @AuntGlow I think catching myself in the moment is such a good idea. I think even stopping for a moment when a thought comes in or an action and asking myself..."is this being compassionate to myself." Maybe reminders in forum lands too when it reads like I'm not showing myself a lot of compassion?

I think that's why I sometimes have trouble with meditation anf breath work, because it requires me to sit in a space that feels so vulnerable and unfamiliar. And any kind of regulation that I do get...is fleeting and doesn't really last, so it feels like I fail at it.

It makes sense that I just need more practice and more exposure to that space though.

Feel free to share any resources or activities, I will give them a go, if not straight away, eventually.

@NightFury hmm fair enough! It can certainly be rough when we're told something that sounds helpful or encouraging on the surface, but ends up being a triggerpoint for shame.

Trust your gut. I would be wary if the things you're being told aren't helping, or are resulting in feelings of shame on a regular basis. It's your recovery journey, and just because one MH professional has said something, doesn't mean it's right for you, or a universal truth.

Saw you chatting to @AuntGlow about regulation and resources so I thought I'd share one of my fav instagram profiles - Neuro_tribe. Here's one of their reels about how children use movement to regulate, and how this has often been suppressed in us because it was 'disruptive' to those around us.

Hope you're having a Fab Friday 😊

Hey @Jynx

Thank you for sharing the insta reel.

I don't really know what it triggered - whether it's shame or not - but it brought about lots of tears.

I had a counselling appointment this morning, then went to my staff Christmas lunch. I left early because my social battery just...ran out.

How are you, my friend?

@AlwaysMyself @NightFury

I am sorry your doctor is making you feel you are not trying enough. From the time I met you online here I can say I see you doing your very best each and everyday. You’ve been working hard on getting better plus all the job interviews and dealing with everyday life plus supporting people here.

I had my GP saying to me I should be doing more and lowering my dose quickly. This made me feel terrible. But I know that I am trying my very best and that a slow taper is what is best for me and my body and supported by science. You don’t have to increase your medicines if you feel you don’t want to. I agree with @AlwaysMyself @they summer everyrhing up beautifully.

You are not broken but I can completely understand those feelings. You are actually very strong and you keep going everyday doing everything you can. That’s a huge achievement.

You are also very loved here on the forums. We can see all your efforts.

Aww @Cuddlebear that is such a sweet message! And you are so right about how there's no one else that can truly know what is best for our bodies - cos we're the only ones living in them!!

@NightFury how was your appt? Having an ok Saturday so far? I am going ok, only today and tomorrow and then I'm on holiday till early Jan!!

@Cuddlebear this post is amazing and hit me in the feels. Thank you for your support. Thank you for saying that my efforts are seen, because it means a lot. I don't put the work in to be seen, but when you're feeling like you aren't trying hard enough, it's nice to hear others counter that.

Hi @Jynx I'm glad you're doing okay. I bet you're looking forward to the holidays. I will miss you and the other Peer Support workers when they go on holidays too.

I've been feeling a bit flat today, but that's probably to be expected given the last couple of days. We played our last game of lawn bowls today and now have some time off.

You are also very loved here on the forums. --- you sure are @NightFury 😍

@Cuddlebear , @Jynx