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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury hope you're having a splendid dinner hun, especially with your news - CONGRATS!! I am so, so happy for you!

Hehe I am helping out whilst tyme is away on leave - lucky me!

Hope you can find something to do to celebrate your news! Sounds like potentially challenging, but very rewarding work! 😍💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Congrats @NightFury !!! I am over the moon for you!!!! 😍🤗😁🎉

I hope there is a BIG feeling of relief for you, and I am extra glad that you have this news before xmas so that you can hopefully still enjoy the time off before starting the new job for as much as possible.

Amazing! Go you!! I reckon you're going to rock that role 😎 (or should that be "rock that roll"? 🎸)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It is wonderful to see you @Jynx 😍

I thought wow it is not Friday yet is it ?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hehe nope @Shaz51 you got me a whole extra day! 😋

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yaaaaa @Jynx

Love to see you every day 😁

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you all @Shaz51 @Jynx @AlwaysMyself @MissGremlin

I do have a big feeling of relief. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me and I'm so glad that I get to just enjoy the last week and a day of teaching.

But it's never simple. Driving home tonight, it hit me that after over 10 years, in 6 school days I'm no longer a teacher. And that comes with grief and sadness and some processing...I think.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury i can imagine that there would be a big sense of relief. I can also understand the grief and sadness that comes with the closure of a chapter so to speak. But remember this doesn't necessarily mean the end of the road when it comes to teaching, cos who knows what the future holds. But what this does mean is that it's a new chapter, a chance for change and a chance to grow. I know you will be amazing at this new job, the way you talk about your current job and the passion you have for helping young people is incredible and inspiring. I'm so proud of you beautiful ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh gosh @MissGremlin you say such beautiful things. Thank you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury You're so welcome sweetheart ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I am with @MissGremlin - you never know when your teaching skills are going to come in handy. I think learning and education are absolutely precious, so fundamental to society - in my opinion, it doesn't matter whether your job title/description says it or not, you're still a teacher.

However, it is absolutely valid to feel a sense of grief about it all. End of just one chapter, but a long one, and one that was very important to you. Remember there's no 'right way' or timeline to grieving. Taking time to need to process, reflect, and grieve for this is soooo valid.

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