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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Big hugs to you too, my friend. 💖 @NightFury

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself @Shaz51 much 💜 to all, see you next time!

⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thankyou @Jynx, hope you have a good night and week. Catch you next time ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Chai and book in bed sounds lovely @NightFury 🥰.

Im just doing my last mesage-checks before sleep time also. Just got into bed - one of my dogs sleeps on my bed at/beside my feet. Sometimes she rolls onto my legs and pushes me out.

Hope you and @MissGremlin both sleep really well tonight, with calm.

Thinking back to those sensory things that help you calm. Smell of chai and cinnamon, patting Luna, warm soft things... 🥰 (i forget what else was on your list)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thankyou @AlwaysMyself, I hope you can get a good sleep also sweet ❤️.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

🥰 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How are you feeling today? @NightFury 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I feel like I've been difficult to be around today @AuntGlow. I've been dragging myself around like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've been kind of quiet and I've been cranky. I really need to apologise to my co-workers because they are not getting the best of me at the moment.

How are you? How was your weekend?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh, I know that feeling WELL. You are definitely not alone... we are always much worse to be around in our own minds. @NightFury 🫶

It makes sense why you're feeling this way too... is there anything you'd like to talk about right now?

And I am well, the weekend was mainly focused on work but I did go to a little house-gathering for a friend's birthday. Thank you for asking. 💖

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm glad to hear that you're well @AuntGlow

I've just had a counselling apppintment with my EAP counsellor. We talked about the fact that I'm a people pleaser and I put everyone else's needs before my own. We talked a little about my childhood and how my Mum wasn't understanding or supportive of other people's emotions and how it meant that I learnt to cope, and function and to put other before myself because I wasn't seen, or heard or validated.

We talked about my anxious brain a little and my OCD assessment. She thinks it's related to the fact that my nervous system is in over drive, which also explains why I am getting sick frequently, and why I feel so flat and worn out. It's alarming and fighting to keep me safe.

She noticed a theme of safety coming up for me. I've learnt to create safety for others, but haven't had anyone create safety for me. Which is why...I have trouble with anxiety.

We talked about how I'm soso hard on myself and I've been tasked with some homework. I have to pay attention to the way other people treat me. And allow myself to sit back and celebrate the good things I have to offer the world. This is why I need to first pay attention to how others treat me, because that's my clue on the good things I bring to the world.

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