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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Wow! What a ride of emotions in such a short time - but so interesting to witness and notice, right?

How are you feeling at the moment? @NightFury 💛

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Absolutely see how you feel hun - but also, it sounds like you've got some deeper stuff you're feeling more ready to start unpacking which is.... sometimes very scary haha but to me it is a mark of progress 😋

One of my fav quotes has always been this Dr Seuss one:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

@AlwaysMyself yeah absolutely, it actually surprises me just how worked up some folks get about other people's bathing habits 😑

I feel you on the dental care too! I have always struggled with brushing my teeth, to the point that by the time I was 20 I was getting a triple root canal 😵 (broke my molar on a Fantail, then did nothing about it for about 3 years... woops). These days I can brush my teeth before bed most nights, but twice a day has always felt out of reach for me. Which sucks because dentists are NOT cheap 😭

ASD tends to present differently in women and AFAB people - partially due to how we're socialised, I think. So we tend to mask our symptoms more, to the point we may not even realise we are.

Also when you throw ADHD into the mix (they are often comorbid) it can get confusing. E.g. ADHD brains like novelty and fresh experiences, which is why I will jump from one special interest to another, rather than being always focused on the one thing.

Found a couple lil infographics about it if you're curious, @Shaz51 @NightFury @MissGremlin @AuntGlow @AlwaysMyself 😋

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It was interesting. I think I'd like to practice more @AuntGlow it can also help me to identify my thoughts and compulsions.

I'm starting to feel very tired, but at the same time a little anxious about going to bed. I've made a chai and I'm sitting on my bed with Luna and my book. I'm just...trying not to let my anxiety run free.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Amazing! Well, maybe that can be our goal for the week? 🤩 @NightFury

Hmm, does your anxiety-brain have a name? 🤔

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Only if you're willing and okay to work on it with me @AuntGlow?

I once joked with a friend that it's name was "Patricia." I think it came from a meme. We would say things like..."bloody Patricia is at it again."

I don't want to offend anyone actually called Patricia though.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Of course! @NightFury

And hahaha I love that.

I think this is okay.

Maybe you could explore having a conversation with Patricia - like, "okay Patricia, I hear you, I see you, I love how much you want to protect me. You can sit beside me, but for now, I am focusing on my voice for a bit, okay?"

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Can we just practice one thing at a time? @AuntGlow I'm sorry. I want to try it, but too many strategies and things to try and then I get confused and overwhelmed about what I'm supposed to be doing and how.

I hope that makes sense?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh, yes of course!! 💛 @NightFury

Let's stick to our first intention.

I am glad you are slowing down for the night - and good on for reaching out. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for your support @AuntGlow hugs to you.

Big thank yous and hugs for @Jynx @Shaz51 @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself as well.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury you're so welcome sweet. Sending you hugs ❤️

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