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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

They are saying Mr shaz has high functioning ASD

But not diagnosed with it @AlwaysMyself

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That sounds achievable @AuntGlow

Right now...

It feels kind of vulnerable, but I'll give it a go. I trust you and know that you care and have my back.

Right now...I have some sensory overwhelm happening. My skin is itchy, my nose is itchy and I feel a bit swamped here...Like I can't keep up socially.

I guess my thought is that if I don't keep up people will think I don't want to talk to them and my supports and people I care about will disappear.

I noticed I'm pulling the loose hairs out of my dreadlocks. I do it a lot when feeling uncertain and messy.

Does that count?

@AlwaysMyself @Jynx @MissGremlin

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How do you and mr @Shaz51 feel about it?

Does it make sense of any things you have noticed over the years?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury please never feel the need to respond to me. And especially not any timeframe. 🥰

I will keep saying this because it is true from me.

And i will always be willing to be here for you whenever you return even after a long absence (as long as im still on the forums too lol). Your lack or delay in response will NEVER affect this. I promise. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for sharing this @NightFury.

Okay, so it sounds like the fear-based thought is "my thought is that if I don't keep up people will think I don't want to talk to them and my supports and people I care about will disappear" - can you allow that thought to be there and gently redirect your attention to something soothing/engaging/with your control?

Then at 8.40, we can come back to the body and see how you feel?

Remember, there is no right or wrong! We are just becoming curious about what works/doesn't work for you. 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury ok I'm back and I'm with you in the sensory overwhelm right now. Things didn't go as smoothly or as planned as I'd wanted to so although I'm in my bed I'm still working on calming myself down. Baby steps it is right now.

Please know that if I ever disappear it's not cos of you, it's either I missed a notification, got caught up doing things or have had to step back for my own reasons. But never is it cos you haven't replied, I'm always here and if you don't reply then that's ok, there's never any pressure to sweet.

I can relate to the loose hair pulling, I've found myself rubbing/grabbing at my forehead cos I'm worked up.

Just know that we are all here with you ❤️

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AlwaysMyself yes we had so much fun doing it together so we planned to do another one, just had to wait for it to be released 😊

I really do miss that name but every now and then I'm reminded when someone calls me by it and it makes me smile. It all happened very suddenly but of course the SANE team was there to support me the whole time.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AlwaysMyself

It makes a lot of sense for most of the diagnosis but taken soo long and been through soo many other diagnosis

And now he is not quite sure what to do about it

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I was not a happy chappy at first. I didn't know what to do with my hands so, I started to chew on my thumb nail and then had to stop myself from doing that I was pacing the house, not sure what to do with myself.

Then my brain wanted to run with it and spiral and I literally told it, "no." I decided to have a shower. I let out a big deep breath and dropped my shoulders and allowed myself to relax.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I do the forehead rub when I have a heavy forehead and brain fog @MissGremlin

And thank you to @MissGremlin and @AlwaysMyself for pointing out to me that there's never any pressure from you guys.

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