Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury well done on attending an interview after work today. 😊. I know that post-interview feeling where you think "did I answer that right? Oh, I wish I had said this instead..." I hope you are able to find a good way to relax and unwind for the evening (tv/movie? dog-patting? listen to music? mobile/video game? cooking or walking if you find that relaxing rather than exhausting lol)

I interpret the feedback from the other interview as really positive - i mean, you know you don't have work experience in that area yet and i guess another applicant did have. But you got an interview even though you didn't have experience yet! AND you presented well at it! 😊 If they are wanting someone to hit-the-ground-running it sounds like it might have been a high-pressure / fast-paced environment with little support, which is not what tends to be the best environment for learning a new industry/role.

Sorry that you are feeling negative effects from your medication increase. I hope it settles down relatively soon and you start feeling the positive effects of the increase in medication.

Thank you @AlwaysMyself I'm sure it'll settle. Who knows...it might not be from the medication at all. I have a lot going on and it could just be that! It's also been a big couple of days.

After dinner, I'll jump in the shower...which generally helps to calm and relax my body. I'll have a hot drink. I think once I stop, I'll crash so maybe an early night.

So...the questions I asked in today's interview were...

- Can you describe a typical work day for me?

- During the probation period, what are the expectations of someone just starting out in the role? So that I know what success looks like.

They were both given to me as examples by my EAP counsellor. @AuntGlow

How are you doing @AlwaysMyself?

I think they are great questions @NightFury 😊. How did you feel about their answers to them? Did they meet your expectations?

I'm doing ok today. Having a repetitive thought that I am trying to ignore 😅. It has no logical emotional basis, but still won't go away haha. Mix of forums, telling my dog to stop barking, and mobile phone for distraction.

@AlwaysMyself the general consensus of the panel was that there is no typical day. Workers are busy with multiple, different tasks depending on what comes up and what needs to be done.

And their expectations on new employees is that they complete the training modules, shadow a colleague, watch and learn, get to know colleagues, clients and community and build their capacity and confidence. That's positive because they don't just throw you in the deep end - it's a big job, with a lot of responsibility.

Their answer to the first question was kind of overwhelming, the second question was a good answer and sits well with me.

Glad to hear that you're doing okay. It sounds like you have good distractions.

Hiya @NightFury woooow sounds like a huge week for you!! How are you feeling today? Got much on over the weekend?

I will absolutely point out any superfluous apologies if I notice them. I'll try to refrain from doing so if I notice you're feeling particularly low, though. Much harder for us not to spiral into guilt and self-pity on those days, I know that much!! I'm glad @AlwaysMyself can help out too.

As for serial-thanking, haha @AlwaysMyself my prompt to you for self-reflection on that one would be to pay attention to how you feel in your body when you're putting that energy into you 'thank you' gestures.

If it feels like a joyous occasion, one where you feel motivated and excited to be doing so, well that's fab! If there's a sense of obligation, or a guilty feeling would arise if you don't go that extra mile to express gratitude, then maybe it's worth considering whether it's something you want to continue putting energy towards. It'll probably fluctuate depending on the situation and the person, and maybe even on how you feel on the day as well. But yeah, I see nothing wrong with what you're doing, it's really wholesome actually. It might just come down to how it feels for you, and whether it is an emotionally sustainable practice!

I saw that you started the burn out thread too @NightFury - mad kudos! I'll go check it out 😉

*support button action to @Jynx post*

For me its a genuine grateful that I want to show thanks - put actions to my words. 😊 or 90% of the time it is. I'm sure there are some occasions where I feel obligated because someone is well-intent but misses the mark by a kilometer (usually due to projecting THEIR wants/likes onto me 😅) -- many gifts from family or during-school-years friends. I would not be surprised if you had similar experiences of that too, since you are also a self-pronounced "weirdo" like me.

Hi @Jynx

Thank you for checking in on me. It has been a huge week and I'm feeling a little flat and urgh this evening. I put in a huge end of the week. Three job applications, a job interview, a HUGE GP appointment, a change in medication and a learn to surf excursion with my class today. I've had a lot of anxiety this week and so...yeah feeling it and struggling a little with sensory overwhelm.

I want to just...lay low over the weekend, but I have lawn bowls tomorrow afternoon and jobs to do around home.

How has your week been?

I've caught myself wanting to apologise for a few things this week. In some instances I've managed to catch it before, sometimes I haven't.

In my job interview...I did apologise for writing too much detail in my responses to their questions.

And an apology is sitting on the tip of my tongue, or the tip of my fingertips, for not being able to keep up discussion on the burn out thread.

This makes me very happy to read @AlwaysMyself - and yes!! I totally am a self-proclaimed weirdo!! In every sense of the word, including its linguistic origins from the word 'wyrd', meaning fate!!

Teehee 😁💜

@NightFury wow hun, huge week!

Hmm, just leaning into that burnout convo, and something 0ddsidian mentioned about finding the things that realistically can wait - are there any jobs from around the home that would be ok to postpone in favour of a bit of downtime? Some stuff I know is more time sensitive (e.g. that big ADHD mood of 'letting the pots and pans soak'... for three days! The amount of mould I've had to scrub outta things is ridiculous 😅) but maybe there's some jobs that could be left for now, or even just done halfway?

I have had a few ups and downs this week but overall chugging along. I maaaaay have had a meltdown the other day after I spilled my entire mug of coffee on the carpet before even taking a sip... It's the little things, you know? 🤣

Amazing that you're already noticing and able to catch yourself sometimes!! And you know I also would slip up more if I'm feeling particularly fragile or overwhelmed so give yourself a bit of grace for everything else you're going through eh?

Also... you and me both lol I am someone who likes to put LOTS of detail in things.... I love a good ramble, finding the right times for my rambles has been the tricky part 😋

There are lots of jobs that I could realistically postpone @Jynx I'm just so hard on myself when I do postpone them. It's hard to relax when you know you have things to do. It feels like pressure. They exist, and I need to do them and my brain can't ignore the fact they they exist.

I had a meltdown this week at work, when I couldn't find the cord to connect my laptop to the TV. My brain spazzed out because someone had taken it, and people always raid my stuff and I couldn't teach my class properly and I felt like I was being judged by my colleagued for being a bad, unprepared teacher and...I found it yesterday in the bottom draw of the desk. When I had put it away, instead of putting it in the top drawer, I'd put it in the bottom draw and forgotten.

So I can totally relate to meltdowns over small things and I think spilling coffee without even getting a drink of it would trigger one for me too.

@NightFury do you make lists? I make this suggestion kinda hesitantly because I myself am notorious for making a bajillion lists and forgetting about them lol but I'm wondering if it would help to externalise the tasks? So like, you know that you have things to do, and so they float around the brain. For me, it can be so hard to remember all the things I have to do so sometimes it's like 'oh yeah gotta do the dishes, better do em now or I'll forget...'

But I'm wondering if making a list of the things you will purposefully postpone until you've had some rest, you won't have to remember it all or think about it too much. Like if that whole 'oh I have to remember to do x' thing comes up you can remind yourself it's on your list to get to later.

Oh hun... that is a WHOLE dang mood haha I do that sorta stuff all the time. It's like my brain freaks out a little when I feel like something isn't logical, particularly when it comes to misplaced items.

I think that when we're in ND burnout, that 'trigger point' can come on a lot quicker. So I hope that you can remind yourself that it's okay to lose it over a cable or a coffee - cos really, what we're actually losing it over is the pile up of everything else.