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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for your amazing reply. @AuntGlow I did read it last night, but I wasn't in a good head space. I needed to step away for a bit. This reply made me teary for a good reason though.

I am safe and okay and have been to the gym this morning. I'm about to tackle my counsellor's journalling home work and then I'm off to a job interview before heading into work.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @Jynx for the courage and fortitude you sent me way. And we can unpack the apology thing when I talk to you next.

Have a good week.

@AlwaysMyself I was asleep when your reply came through, but it was nice to read it this morning.

A career change is a scary thing. And it will put me into a similar dilemma as you mentioned. It will mean a pay cut, which is not impossible, but will make things tight and force me to be more conservative and responsible with my money.

But I see it as a step...

Step One: Was to find a teaching job that will help me settle back into my home life here after 13 months in QLD, reconnect with my family and my home state, find my own home, and study Child and Adolescent mental health.

Step Two: Find a job that will pay the bills and give me some hands on experience in mental health while I work on getting my Masters of Child and Adolescent Mental Health.

Step Two: When I finished my Masters I will be qualified to work as a child and adolescent counsellor, so find a job doing that. I already have my Creative Arts Therapy qualifications so maybe a combination of both.

I have a pathway through. It's just a matter of dealing with the emotions and processing whatever's going on here, pushing through the programming and taking the first step. @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

Thank you for your amazing reply. @AuntGlow I did read it last night, but I wasn't in a good head space. I needed to step away for a bit. This reply made me teary for a good reason though.

I am safe and okay and have been to the gym this morning. I'm about to tackle my counsellor's journalling home work and then I'm off to a job interview before heading into work.


Aww anytime, my friend! I completely get that and I will always encourage you to listen to your body.

Tears are wonderful - it means you're connected to you, right? 🥰

Good on you for going to the gym! How did journalling feel for you? And I am so keen to hear about the interview! I saw your post in @MissGremlin's thread about school being semi-closed tomorrow - will you have to go in?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow how are you?

I had tears this afternoon too, over something small. There seems to be lots of them coming out lately.

Journalling felt good. I wrote three pages, and it was nice to put pen to the paper. I probably would have written more, if not for the fact that I lost track of time and left myself half an hour to walk Luna, and have a shower.

I think the interview went well, but then, that's what I thought about the last one. It sounds like an amazing opportunity and made me feel excited by the possibility. But, I'm trying not to get too attached to the idea because I might not get it. I think, even if I don't, I was reflecting that maybe it made me realise that there are other opportunities out there and that I actually fo have transferrable skills.

Staff still have to go in tomorrow, yeah. We have to take turns looking after and planning activities for the kids that do come to school.

How are your studies going?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am doing well @NightFury 🥰

That is perfectly understandable - I can imagine lots of different emotions will come up over the coming weeks and that is absolutely allowed.

I had a big cry today too actually and it was interesting to watch what was coming up - my beliefs, my patterns, my stories - and I just practiced allowing. It was helpful. 🫶

That is amazing!! Good on you. I am curious to know if it shone a light on anything you'd like to listen to?

Something I like to remember in big moments like this is the notion of, "what is for me, won't go past me." And I think that really applies here.

I can hear you are already looking at this from multiple lenses, which is amazing! i.e.: You did an amazing job, you know you would enjoy this role, but if you don't get it, you were still able to learn more about other opportunities and your transferrable skills. 🤩

What activities do you think you will plan??

They are going well! I was just saying to Dreamy that I have to do a role play for the next assessment, with a reflective essay. Hoping it goes well! 🤞

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hope you're okay? I made myself sit in the space of a meltdown yesterday @AuntGlow. It was super uncomfortable and I wanted to run from the trigger that set me off, but I made myself stay.

So, the position is new and with it comes the opportunity to make it my own. They have programs designed and ready to teach, they just need someone to teach them. I liked the idea of designing the client workbooks to go with the programs...you know, that little bit of creativity. I enjoy tinkering with graphic design stuff.

I am starting to see things from multiple perspectives regarding this work situation. I had a good conversation with the teacher who I spoke to you about not long ago - the one who's been difficult to work with. He bailed me up in the car park and we stood talking for an hour and a half. He's been told he doesn't have a position for next year too, but he wanted to share with me his perspective on why and how those they're bringing in to replace us (student teacher and a new teacher fresh out of Uni) have been chosen as part of a smart business plan. They're new, fresh, can be trained and are maleable - we have extensive experience, and more experience than some of those in leadership positions. We are less maleable and more independent thinkers and teachers. He basically wanted to tell me that I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings about the situation, and that everything I'm feeling is valid. We have three experienced teachers and our school counsellor leaving. It was the longest conversation I've had with him and an interesting conversation. @tyme

I don't know what activities I'll plan yet. It just depends on how many kids show up, and the age group of those who show up. It depends on how they structure the day.

Finger's crossed that it all goes well for you. With your acting skills, I reckon that you'll ace the role play!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello, lovely! @NightFury

Apologies for my delay. How are you feeling today? ✨

What was it like to sit with the feelings that came up? Good on you for exploring this, it really does take everything in us to be with big sensations, doesn't it?

This role sounds perfect and so exciting!! When will you hear back about it? I am keeping all my fingers and toes crossed!!

Oh wow, that would have been very disarming, coming from him! How did it feel to be heard and validated in your feelings?

Also, how was yesterday at school?

And aww thank you, it went okay! I have to analyse it and pick it apart now. 🫠

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury not sure if its the same for you, but the waiting after the interview of a job that you would really like is the hardest part for me lol. I like making plans so I don't like being in limbo and unable to make certain plans one eay or the other 😅.

I'll be waiting out with you to hear the news either way, and continue to support and encourage you either way. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

No need to apologise for the delay, it's totally okay.

Those feelings were super uncomfortable to sit with, and it was really hard not to give into my flight response. I just wanted to give up trying and to run, and then I was really hard on myself for having the overwhelm and the meltdown over something so small.

I should hear back about the role by the end of this week, or early next week.

It was a bit disarming. He started the conversation with, "everyone here hates me," and I instantly felt for him though. It explains why he's so standoffish at times, I guess. I think he has good intentions, but is neurodiverse and struggles with the communication side of things. It was a bit of insight and a bit of clarity, as well as being validating for me. It gave me a new understanding of why, and what's happening at the school and it feels better knowing that I'm not alone.

School has been weird. It's just different. We've not had a formal school day since Monday and have had very low numbers. For example, I spent this morning outside with a group of boys shovelling gravel and fixing one of the bike jumps that had been dug out and made dangerous. For clarity, we have mountain bikes and a bike track in our playground.

As for how I am today? It's a better day than yesterday.

I have an appointment with my psychologist in ten minutes. She sent me another screener to fill out for OCD and it's left me feeling really anxious and unsettled already.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm really confused @AuntGlow

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