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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How do you feel about that role? @NightFury I wonder if they will ask for examples of how you have created and run programs in the past?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

I don't really know how I feel about this role. It's complicated. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about not teaching.

Possibly, tyme. It seems like a reasonable question for them to ask.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I wonder if this can be seen as still a teaching role, but in another capacity @NightFury ?

We will support you with whatever you choose to do. There's no pressure from our end 🙂 We just want to ensure you feel supported.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I feel like it would use similar skills and I'll still get to work with and help people and support them to learn new things @tyme.

And, I really appreciate the support I get here.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Will they be young people? That's the only difference I have found. When working with children and mental health, I found there was a lot more risk and reporting because they are minors. @NightFury

I'm glad you find the support here helpful.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm not sure. It's a service for all ages, so I'm not sure who and what ages they'll be @tyme

I would like to work with young people, but I think I need to gain some more experience with in mental health before I do that.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon! @NightFury 💖

These questions are all SO valid and I encourage you to spend some time journaling about them. Conduct a Q&A with yourself and see what comes up! I think you will be surprised with what you find.

Personally, I can see how much connection means to you, so of course the idea of leaving these connections you have built would feel vulnerable. On the other hand, I can also see that you know you're able (and made for) something more - which is also vulnerable. I know this is kind of an 'ugh' answer, but, in these cases it's a 'pick your vulnerable' situation. What will help bring you closer to your highest self/integrity? 🤔

100%. That is amazing to hear!

I like to think of teaching as leading, facilitating, supporting - you have all of those skills and they would be perfect in the group programs role. 🤩

Oh, that sounds really tough... I get that feeling. Sometimes your intuition leads you somewhere else more grounding - but then the thinking mind tells us we have to keep up with whatever else is going on/what other people expect. But, I think people really appreciate authenticity - so you saying, 'actually, this is so beautiful, I just want to take a moment to enjoy it, but I will catch up soon!' is more than valid.

In other news, how are you today? 🧚

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Journalling the questions is a good idea @AuntGlow now I'm curious as to what will come up.

Aunt Glow...whenever I make a decision for myself, that's true to my values and that brings me closer to my own integrity and authenticity...whenever I make a decision that aligns with me, It always involves losing people. It always hurts.

I am having a bit of a rest day today. I slept for 11 hours last night/this morning. I've done a few jobs around the house but I've tried to balance it with moments of rest. I'm...struggling with exhaustion.

How has your weekend been?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am too - please share (if you feel comfortable doing so!) @NightFury

Gosh, that must be so confusing and painful... I can understand why there would be so much resistance there. Are you able to keep in contact with some of the people you have connected with? I would also like to offer that moving into something new may invite in even more aligned connections. 🥰

I can imagine your exhaustion would be a mixture of emotional and energetic, so needing extra rest right now (and honouring that) is more than allowed.

Very busy weekend, my friend. I worked my other hospo job and started organising myself for my next assessment (a role play and reflective analysis), and then I also went to a gig with some friends last night. There are a few other things I have coming that I am preparing for too. Busy time of the year!

What do you have planned for this week?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I will work on journalling it out this week @AuntGlow

I hope that I can keep in contact with them, but also realistic enough to know that adult friendships are hard, especially when you both work. I also know that it creates opportunities to meet new people and make new connections.

I don't really know why I'm struggling with exhaustion at the moment. But, I think you're right. It's been tough going and I think it's emotional and energetic. I hope I'm doing the right thing in honouring it.

Wow! I can hear how busy you are right now. And agree that it is a busy time of the year. It sounds like your weekend has been a good mix of work, study and enjoyment.

I have a counselling appointment tomorrow with a new counsellor from EAP. It took a little to organise it, and a few phone calls, but they matched me with a counsellor who was a teacher, stepped out of her career and now works in mental health. I'm nervous about talking to someone new, but I'm hoping talking to someone with lived experience will help me sort my head and my feelings out about it.

We don't play bowls this week - we have a couple of weeks off. So, no training this week. I need...to really spend some time taking care of me and meeting my own needs. I'm a bit worried about where I'm at, at the moment. So, I just need to look after for myself.

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