Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury ,

I'm catching up on posts and read about you not being able to secure a role next year. I'm hearing what the interviewer said.

I wonder if it's about finding a role that brings out your skills and nurtures your talent? How many kids in your currrent school?

In Melb, we have so many wellbeing roles. They have mental health practitioner roles that are available everywhere. My sister does this, alongside her inclusion role.

I wonder if something like this works for you?

Oh, and in her role, she can do art therapy etc with the kids in small intervention groups.

We're a small school @tyme we have under 300 kids.

We don't really have those kinds of roles within our mainstream schools. We are a little different in that regard. We're lucky to have school counsellors within our schools.

I was wondering whether it wouod be worth talking to the principal about the possibility of creating that kind of role under the umbrella of student support. I don't know, it feels very forward of me? It feels like I'm talking out of turn...in a way.

As for your post about your brain. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with memory and things. I think you do a lot and have a lot on. And sometimes it can be hard to keep up with everything. I wonder if taking some time to rest your brain and scale back your commitments, so that you can then power forward again, will help?

I just want to jump in @NightFury I think I missed your username change because I can’t work it out and @tyme
about school wellbeing roles
I could not believe the kind of support even offered in primary schools now,
it wasnt until we had to access some support that I knew it was available if was not like that when I was young (and I am not that old!)
One of our kids is at school and I wouldnt say the suburb the school is in is particularly underprivileged so the support they can offer was surprising
They have inclusion workers, a classroom worker that goes into the clsssroom and apparently helps the teacher make sure certain kids that need adjustments are given it, our child is not behind learning wise but needs help to get work done and focus so he has a mini bike under his table now which is what the learning worker put in place for him, and he has a special gardening club and when things were really difficult they were letting him enter the classroom early and then go off to the garden with that staff member so that they could be busy when the stress and crowds happened at 9am and then they would go to class
I wont share much more just for his sake but we are going through a difficult a patch again at the moment (think security blanket being used as a hat vibe)
but they have been awesome
I hope you can get into something like that maybe with an art focus

Good evening @NightFury! 💛

Thank you for your update. I am so sorry to hear you didn't get the role... I am sure this was really disheartening for you.

However, this feedback is actually very promising and encouraging!! In fact, it shows me that you're meant for something bigger (which I can understand would also be a really daunting thought!).

I really do get the sense the universe is asking you to take a brave step forward into something more aligned. I wonder what that could be? You have mentioned creativity, working with kids, mental health... there's something there. 😍

I think it's so normal to feel both sad and optimistic about learning this information. It's a lot. And knowing that there are connections, which may shift when you leave is genuinely painful to sit with... I think it's okay to take time to process this and feel into what you want.

Your fears are perfectly valid - I would be thinking the same things, which is why I think making room for these feelings to be felt is part of coming into a place of more clarity?

I am glad to know you are safe... I know this is all really scary, but I am very hopeful that you will find something that allows you to grow, explore, and find your feet once more. 🥰

Hi @ArraDreaming

Thank you for being supportive.

It sounds like your son has some amazing supports around him at school, which is fantastic. I feel like my current school goes above and beyond to support students, but they have a very narrow focus of improving literacy and numeracy for students and anything that doesn't align with that is kind of not as important. Our principal is a big believer in teaching literacy and numeracy over anything else. We don't have room in the timetable for art, HASS, digital technologies or Science.

I wouldn't ever voice it, but I think...given the socio economic area of the school, wellbeing also needs to be a focus. I feel like...his narrow focus on literacy and maths creates gaps in learning.

@AuntGlow I was really really in a state when I found out on Friday night. I was very dysregulated and really struggling. I had really strong SI but...it passed. It's come up from time to time this weekend but never in a way that made me question whether I was safe (like it did on Friday).

It is daunting.

I know I need to let myself feel these feelings, to sit with them but I'm kind of scared too. I've had tears come up a few times over the weekend, but I haven't allowed myself to let them go and to actually cry.

I was going to set it as one of my promises to myself...to spend 10 minutes sitting with my emotions and allowing myself to feel them...but I didn't because I can't promise myself that.

@NightFury honestly I could not have summed it up better than others here. I really like what @MissGremlin mentioned about how you've actually outgrown the position, rather than being 'not good enough'... like, you're literally too good 😋

And yeah I reckon that you can still keep those personal connections, and maybe they'll even grow into something better without that 'work hat' being on when you're with them.

I also really loved what @AuntGlow mentioned about this being a sign that you are ready for the next stage in your professional growth. I totally agree, it's clear from the feedback you got that you have incredible passion - something that I believe is essential in teaching - and maybe this is a sign that your passion is needed elsewhere in the world right now.

I'm glad that what I mentioned to Dreamy was helpful for you in recognising that the self-isolating may not be what's needed right now.

Proud of you 💜

The idea of being "too good" @Jynx makes me want to shrink though. I don't want to be too good. Particularly when my own brain keeps telling me that I'm not good enough. It feels weird.

It's just...hard to wrap my head around and to sort out the conflicting emotions.

I saw your reply to Dreamy come through via email and was like..."I think Jynx is talking to me." Lol. So, I decided to try. It was hard to even say hi last night, but it's easier today.

Also, is something going on with the forums?

I get that... news like this can be truly dysregulating. I am so proud of you for reaching out here. 💛 @NightFury

I wonder what made these thoughts less overwhelming for you over the weekend?

I think listening to your body is really important here too. I want to encourage you to listen in to when it feels safe to feel fully. Maybe you need some time to get there slowly or a safe container to do so? 🥰

Would you consider sharing these feelings with your psychologist?

I don't know @AuntGlow

I spent some time taking care of myself. Almost treating it as I would a physical illness. I slept a lot, I got some sun, I spent a few hours today curled up on the couch watching a movie, I ate comfort foods, I built lego and I reached out here. Lots of self-care.

I just need to allow it, give it permission when it comes up, instead of shoving it back down and shutting the lid tightly.

I would share them with my psychologist, but we don't have an appointment for another couple of weeks. I don't know about sharing the SI, but the other feelings...yeah.