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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury It is totally OK to not know the answers to questions I pose. 😊. I think people often do not know what their answers are until they pause, have a think, let it mull awhile, and then sometimes something may even pop into their mind later that they didn't think of initially too. 😊 And of course there is no "right" or "wrong" - only what is true for yourself.

I resonate with a lot of your thoughts on what is important in life. A lot of my own "wants" and (dare I say, although I sometimes have learned to challenge these) "shoulds" are in your list too.

It sounds like checking-in with you is a way that we can show you we care. 😍

I can totally understand that, and I don't at all think it's too much to ask for from people here. 😊. I know myself it is nice when people go out of their way to check in, so again I can also very much relate to it.

I will be away for nearly 3 weeks, so please do not take my absence as a sign of not caring or anything (I am saying this to others also too). I will be overseas from tomorrow and thus unable to engage with the forum. I'm just trying to catch up on all the messages/tags before I log off because I know I won't have any time tomorrow before my flight! I really should be going to sleep though, because I have to get up in 6 hours lol. 🤗

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Safe travels @AlwaysMyself

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening, lovely,

How are you feeling tonight? @NightFury 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

Sorry to miss this last night. I've been feeling pretty exhausted and not sleeping well over the last couple of days, and I decided to try and counter it with an early night. So, I took my sleep meds early and was asleep when this came through. Not sure if it worked, because I woke up feeling just as exhausted.

I have a job interview today at the school where I currently work, for a position for next year. It feels like a lot of pressure...a lot of everything. I've already failed two job interviews for next year and this is my last chance to stay where I am, in a school where I have a handful of really awesome colleagues. I'm scared about what happens if I'm not successful.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury I just wanted to drop by here to say that I am thinking of you re you job interview today, I hope it goes ok for you 🙏

I take my hat off to you, some of my family are teachers and all the behind the scenes work and plans generally goes unnoticed as well as having to take care of a class room full of kids. I have seen how hard you all work and just wanted to let you know that I admire you in the profession and I hope the ideal job you are after is just around the corner. 💛🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay! @NightFury

I messaged pretty late. 💛

I often feel exhausted after sleep when I am managing a lot. How are you taking care of yourself today?

I understand and that would feel really daunting... I think you have so much to offer. You're an incredible asset to their team, but hypothetically, say you didn't get it - I have absolute faith that something more aligned will come along.

Please let me know how it goes. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have just finished my interview @AuntGlow and I feel like it went okay. I talked a lot, but I feel like it was about things I was passionate about. They will let me know either on or by Friday.

I'm worried about my reaction if I don't get it. But I might need some support if that were to happen and/or some strategies to manage my thinking and my regulation.

As for how I'm looking after myself? I've just got home and made a coffee, and I'm going hit the pause button for a minute before tackling the jobs that I have to do here.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well, this is really wonderful to hear - YAY! I think yapping a lot about your passions is amazing. I am looking forward to hearing about the outcome. @NightFury 🥰

We can work through that together, absolutely.

I think turning to your cards and creativity could be helpful. What do you think?

That sounds really nourishing. How do you make your coffee at home? 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Turning to the cards, or to something creative would help me regulate @AuntGlow

I don't have a fancy way of making coffee. I used to have a coffer machine, but it stopped working on the drive from Tassie to QLD and so, I got rid of it. Now I use the coffee sachet's and a good old fashioned jug. What about you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yay! Let's work with those two strategies then. @NightFury

Awww, would you get a new machine at all in the future?

What's your favourite sachet?

I am a bit of a coffee snob 🫣 (it's a Melbourne rite of passage) haha

I have a nespresso machine because they are cheaper than a coffee machine... but I often walk to local cafes for coffee. It gets me up and about and chatting to people, so it's an important part of my day.

How are you feeling about study? 🤩

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