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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm a coffee snob too @AuntGlow I buy a coffee Wed, Thurs and Friday mornings from a local coffee shop to drink on the drive to work. But I make do at home.

Maybe. I've been thinking about one of those pod machines too because I feel like it'd be a cheaper option than a proper coffee machine. I would love to have coffee and natter to someone, but most of the time, it's just me.

Today's been a BIG day in organising things...

So...I had the job interview

And I took a phone call from the real estate. The new owners of the house want to offer me an extension on my lease and have given the real estate permission to draft it up ready to go for when my lease runs out in December. They're only increase the rent by $25 a week.

I had a phone call from the Uni re my offer to do the Masters. The offer didn't come through to me due to an error in the system and the Uni are trying to fix that so that we can proceed.

To answer your question, my studies and what I've learnt so far were one of the thingd I rambled on about a little in my interview and I felt this...excitement. So, I'm excited about further studies, I guess?

And my EAP counsellor, who was supposed to return from leave this week, and I have an appointment with her next week, needs to be on leave until December. I told her...very guiltily that maybe I'd like to make an appointment with someone else and so her boss rang me and we talked through some options that might line up.

So...big day!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Love it, there's a strong Melburnian in you @NightFury 🙊

Next level - do you have a favourite coffee bean/roast?

Mine wasn't too expensive, so I can recommend. I got this one: https://www.nespresso.com/au/en/order/machines/vertuo/vertuo-pop-aquamint-coffee-machine

And the auto-frother! Only thing is that you can only get the pods from Nespresso, because it's a different shape to regular ones.

I am not sure where you are, but in bigger cities they have coffee catch up social events now, where you can meet likeminded people. I wonder if you could have a look for one? 🤩

Oh that rental increase isn't too bad!! How do you feel about the idea of staying there longer?

Very exciting!! I am glad they are fixing it for you.

Oh, that means it's aligned, that's an amazing thing to notice. 🥹

That's more than okay. You are allowed to ask for what you need - she has taken more time for her, so if you need support right now, I am really glad that you're asking for it. 🥰

Very big day! Are you resting now?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

Wow. What a big day indeed!

I read about everything going on for you!

With the house, are you going to accept or are you still looking elsewhere?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't really have a favourite @AuntGlow. I don't think I've had enough experience with coffee beans to have a favourite yet.

Thanks for the share. I'll take a look.

I thought about moving, but there's not a lot of available houses around a similar budget. I don't think I have it in me at the moment to go through the process of looking for a house, applying, packing, moving, unpacking. Yeah, I'm still working through feeling safe here, but I think that feeling will follow me wherever I live. It's challenged my idea of safety in general around my living situation and made me realise how vulnerable I am. @tyme

I'm trying to rest. I have a big headache and I'm feeling anxious.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

True @NightFury .

If it works for you, then definitely it's a good idea. I'm mindful how stressful moving is! I wouldn't wish it upon anyone!

And as you said, finding a place is hard. You also have Luna to consider.

I hope you can practice some mindfulness/grounding exercises as a way to help you through this anxiety too.

Rest up hun!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know if it works so much, but it seems like the best option for me at the moment @tyme

I need some security in my life, and this gives me that in one aspect amongst all the things that feel so insecure.

The safety thing...is something that I need to work through, no matter where I live.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You made a good point. That feeling of safety is something that follows. @NightFury

I hope you aren't too hard on yourself. Give yourself some room to work through it hun.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay! *watch this space* hehe @NightFury

This is so incredibly fair. I have moved a lot in the last 2 years and it is exhausting. Perhaps making your space as safe as possible is the goal?

I am sorry that anxiety and headaches are coming up for you... there is a lot going on, isn't there?

Please try and get some rest, I will be back tomorrow and I will check in then. ☺️

You've got this, okay? You're allowed to cry, you're allowed to feel vulnerable, and within that, there's so much evidence of your strength - because you keep going and showing up every day without dismissing your authentic feelings. That's something to acknowledge and be proud of. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think my Dad and I have put a lot of work into making this house as safe as possible, with installing the cameras and locks for the gate etc @AuntGlow now it's just up to me to work through it.

There is a lot going on.

Good night, AuntGlow.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury,

How are you feeling today? 🥰

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