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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I want to learn more but I don't know if I want to chat about it yet @Jynx that diagnosis doesn't surprise me, to be honest. Actually none of them do. The OCD realisation is challenging me a lot because...I look back and go..."oooh...yeah, that's what was happening..." and "well...now that makes sense." But it also comes with a storm of shame and fear of having to voice things that I have never ever spoken about to anyone, and worry about how others will react to that.

I'm ashamed and embarrassed and how do you voice that and put it out into the world without people judging?

I don't really have a friend who can help me identify them and call me out on them, but I do have a counsellor and a psychologist who could help in that regard.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Some of Tassie is considered 'regional' but I'm not sure if it's applied to all of Tassie @tyme

It's probably not quite as bad as Sydney, but a lot of the three bedroom houses are like $500 to upwards of $700 a week. We don't have a lot of units and units generally don't work with Luna.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh yeah @NightFury ! Forgot Luna needs a yard! Yeah, then that's harder.

How's your sleep been recently? Do you ever experience times when you think you hear something and you jolt up?

In this aspect, I feel that moving house would be helpful. That's more whatn I'm looking forward to for you.

I felt so sad when I read about what happened.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

She doesn't need much of a yard @tyme but she does need a little one that she can wander around in. She mostly sleeps all day. And I have to be careful not to over exercise her because she has arthritis in her back legs. She gets sore.

Sleep has been...on and off. Which, honestly is normal for me. It's just that now, it's on and off with sleep meds on board. I'm getting bits and pieces of sleep. I wake up four/five times each night. And I've had a few nightmares recently.

I'm still sleeping with the loungeroom lights on. Still checking the doors frequently and putting a chair in front of the back door (don't ask me why. I know there's not a lot of logic to it) I get jumpy of a night amd yeah, I'm over reactive to noises and things that go bump in the night now.

I'm extra hypervigilant. Like last night there was a car sitting opposite my house with it's headlighta on and as soon as I came into the kitchen it drove off and my brain went..."they were sitting there watching me

.." they probably weren't...but it took me a minute to talk myself down.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I can 100% relate. You are doing just a might job working through it all. Your strength and power to push on in adversity is so inspiring @NightFury

I think about your situation, and I'm pretty speechless. I put myself in your shoes and just think what I would do... probably just flop.

I hope you see your resilience.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sending you lots of understanding hugs @NightFury

I can't over exercise due to my Osteoporosis

And I am awake 3 or 4 times a night because of my kidney disease stage 4

Sitting with you 💕

@tyme

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know what to say to that @tyme

Thank you.

I don't see my resilience...I see the parts of me that are scared and anxious and overwhelmed and that feels really powerless and inconsequential. I don't think that I'm resilient.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @Shaz51

Sitting with you too, my friend.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Isn't the saying, "Can't see the forest for the trees"? I wonder if it's a bit like that? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's the one @tyme

It might be a bit like that, but also maybe to do with how I see myself and on hard on myself I am.

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