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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What is coping but surviving @NightFury? Maybe you are still learning how to cope in a way that supports your mental wellbeing, but it doesn't mean you haven't been coping at all.

So glad to hear that you've been able to recognise that connections are so important. That 'fierce independence' trauma response is remarkably common, and often lauded as a strength or an accomplishment.

This lil meme sums it up nicely I think:

@Shaz51 aww hun, you got all the solidarity here! We know how it feels. We got you 💜

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I can only imagine how exhausted you must be at the moment, lovely. @NightFury I am glad you got extra rest.

It's always tricky when you have free space in the midst of anxiety... this is where I engage in active rest. Things like yoga, listening to music, reading, walking with a podcast. Is there anything you could explore tonight?

Oh wow... how did it feel to have a moment of silence for him? That's so incredibly kind, they clearly valued his life so much. 🥰

The nightmares sound exhausting... when do you get to see you psychologist again?

My weekend was very busy! I worked at my other job, started my essay (it is very rudimentary at present haha) and saw some live jazz with friends.

What are you plans and intentions for the week ahead?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

I did it!

I submitted my final assignment for the Graduate Certificate in Child and Adolescent Mental Health.

Just thought I'd share!

@Shaz51 @AuntGlow @tyme @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself @Jynx


Congratulations! Woohoo!

You are AMAZING! Your perseverance is totally inspiring!

I hope you've been able to treat yourself!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I really want to go and curl up in bed now @AuntGlow but it's only 8.35 pm. I'm fighting it because it seems so silly to go to bed so early.

I've been trying to finish my puzzle tonight, but I don't really have the focus or the intensity. I can't stop yawning.

It felt strange to have a moment of silence for him. On one hand it was really lovely of the bowls club to do it, on the other hand...I don't think it mentally hit me. The person next to me said, "this is for your Grandad." And I was a little like..."huh..." maybe a bit of denial? It didn't feel real and it didn't connect in some parts of my brain.

I have my next appointment with my psychologist on Wednesday.

My plans and intentions for the week...

* I need to talk to my psychologist about a lot of things so...I intend to do so.

* Get through the working week till Thursday (which is a public holiday here) then do Friday.

* Rest. Take some time for rest and self-care. Already this has slipped since starting back at work and I can feel it.

* Ring the real estate and find out what's happening with the house and ask a few questions I have.

There are probably more things but...tired brain is not braining effectively.

It sounds like you had a busy weekend. I'm glad you got your essay started and spent some time listening to music with friends. If you would like to share...what are your intentions/plans for this week?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @tyme!!!

I haven't treated myself yet, no. I actually sat down after finishing my assignment and fell asleep sitting in the bean bag. Lol.

Part of me wants to wait until I get my results before I treat myself.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You're allowed to yawn! Yawn as much as you want hun! You deserve to feel like you need rest!

So proud of you. What an achievement! @NightFury . I'm still getting used to your username. I think, "Who's this?"

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think I'm still getting used to it too @tyme...I still pause when the notifications come through. So, it's okay.

How are you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

YOu deserve 2 treats! One for finishing (one goal), and another one for results 🙂 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't mind that thinking @tyme I'll have to think about what I can do to treat myself.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

How was your day?

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