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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

I like to learn to @tyme but it's also a little driven by the belief that I'm not enough as I am.

We can choose from a few...off the top of my head, we've looked briefly at Cognitive Development Theory, Psychosocial Theory, Attachment Theory and Social Learning Theory.

We can choose any of the theories that we've covered.

I have to decide of I want to go on to my Masters.


Reminds me of my psych degree - all those theories! I didn't enjoy the psych degree so I moved into counselling.

I was only thinking of what studies to pick up next... not sure yet. Sometimes I look out for scholarship opportunties so I can see what the need is @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm not sure yet either @tyme so we both sit in a little bit of uncertainty.

I know I'd like to take a break from study and find a bit of space for a while.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Space is good @NightFury . Do you think your current studies will help you secure another job? Like another role away from teaching? How are you today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hope so @tyme at least that was the intention when I started the course. I'm hoping to pick something up in youth and adolescent work.

I'm tired today.

It's been a big day. I was awake at 6 am for some unknown reason. I did some study this morning. Then dropped Luna off with Dad because the house is under contract and a building inspector wanted to come through. I had an appointment with Telstra, then had to pick Luna back up, called into the supermarket and into the chemist and came home. I'm curled up in front of the TV now, watching a YouTube episode filmed by a husband and wife who live out of their van and are travelling around Australia.

How are you doing, over there?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ah. Makes sense. I hope you can do something in that field. It'll be less stress. I'm thinking it may be less pay too? @NightFury

Have you considered getting a little piece of land and building those small little granny flat style properties? @NightFury

Sometimes, it feels like living from a van is pretty good. Less to worry about?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah, @tyme it might be less pay, but I think, if I step out of teaching, I'm going to have to be realistic and deal with less pay.

I haven't considered that, no. Something like that's not a financial possibility for me, unfortunately.

I don't know about living in a van. I kind of like my space. Last year, I lived out of a bedroom and it really got to me.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah. Sharing a space ain't nice @NightFury . We all need a place we can call home, whether it's a shoe box or a mansion.

I heard reserach last night that teaching in primary school in Australia is the 2nd most stressful after Canada.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'll take a look. Thank you for sharing. That doesn't surprise me about teaching in Australia @tyme

It's such a hard job attached to big, often unfair expectations. The pressures involved in teaching, from all angles are challenging.

I'm also learning that the classroom may not be a healthy space for me.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And look, we all now that even over 20 years ago, it was well known that people change careers about 4 times in their lives. @NightFury Who knows what it is like now?

Teaching is not for everyone. I've had my years in the classroom and learnt that only people who really love it, stay on for years on end. It's not easy at all.

There was something I wanted to say to you, but it's completely slipped my mind now.

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