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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

@tyme I just thought I would flag - I'm not getting email notifications today. Wondering if it's just me? I've checked my notification settings and nothing's changed there.


I've asked our IT peeps. I think the issue might:

1) resolve itself

2) be a bigger issue than just you

Some members haven't been receiving notifications for months and after looking into it, it is because their mail server has blocked it. When people get too many emails from the same org, they block them because they may consider it 'spam'. e.g. if there are too many similar emails coming through in a short time frame, they may block them.

Can you give it a bit of time to see if it resolves itself in the next few days? Also, you can put in a tech issue notification through this link.

Hope it resolves @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thanks @tyme I'll give it a few days and see what happens.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What's happening for you at the moment? I've missed connecting with you. @NightFury

Hope you've been managing - the best you can I guess?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I had a bad night last night @tyme but it was nice to feel a little lighter today.

I went and had my Tarot cards read by a friend, then we went for coffee and lunch.

After that I went to a bookshop, but they didn't have the book I was looking for.

Then I had bowls practice, and ended up practising with my Grandad's best friend. It was nice to be around someone who felt like my Grandad. I don't know if that makes sense.

Also, we have 125 km/h winds forecast for tomorrow. Lots of severe weather warnings. So it's going to get a bit hairy tomorrow.

What have you been up to?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm glad it was a bit lighter today @NightFury . Do you think it was lighter because of anything you did? Or it just was?

As for bookshops, they are such a rarity now! What a shame they didn't have what you were looking for. I honestly don't know how bookshops survive. Think in a few years time, bookshops will be history!

And the wind was hectic on my side today! I thought I was going to blow away! Looks like you'll be receiving the wind we had here today!

I've been so busy doing things, but not really being able to tick things off. I'm working through all my projects. I've also beeing studying more so that's taken up a fair chunk of time in my evenings when I can't sleep. I completed a course on Working with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities, and now I'm doing an AOD course. @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I had a good night's sleep @tyme the first in over a week. That makes a difference for me. But I was also looking forward to connection with a friend. The kind of deep connection with someone you can talk to about anything. I've been craving it lately.

I know. I think it's sad that bookshops are disappearing. I have a Kindle, but I prefer to have a book in my hands when I read.

They sound like interesting courses? It's good that you're studying more and working through things and course work.

I have one assignment left and then I've finished my Graduate Certificate in Child and Adolescent Mental Health. I've just finished an assignment on the impact of internet addiction or problematic internet use on adolescent mental health.

The next assignment is to take it further and create a presentation for an audience (teachers, counsellors, parents, etc) tying it to a theory of development and how that theory of development helps to understand what's happening for the young person. I think I'm going to do Social Learning Theory.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm always learning @NightFury . I just love learning and thrive on it. So I'm always enrolled in multiple courses, degrees etc.

The social learning theory would be one of the top on the list. What other theories can you choose from?

I'm so glad to hear that you had a better sleep. Sounds like you totally needed it! And deserve it!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

So glad you had a good night sleep last night @NightFury 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I like to learn to @tyme but it's also a little driven by the belief that I'm not enough as I am.

We can choose from a few...off the top of my head, we've looked briefly at Cognitive Development Theory, Psychosocial Theory, Attachment Theory and Social Learning Theory.

We can choose any of the theories that we've covered.

I have to decide of I want to go on to my Masters.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @Shaz51

I needed it. It was the first night in a week that I've been able to sleep without the TV on.

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