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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I do feel that I'm ready, but my brain is coming up with excuses not to go @AuntGlow

It seems like the cards are giving you a message there, Aunt Glow. Sometimes the things that mean the most to us, makes us feel the most vulnerable, because they are big expressions of ourselves. It would be hard to put yourself out there when it comes to singing, for fear of criticism, rejection, other people's thoughts having an impact on something you love. So, I think sometimes we protect it, but in protecting it, we also miss out on doing something that we love to do. Does that resonate?

I'm happy to share my reading here. I'm actually really looking forward to it.

I've been trying to do some study today. I have one assignment left.

Thanks to my student support person, who coached and supported me through the last assignment, over several phone calls to check in and give feedback, I managed to get a distinction. So, just one final assignment left now. Then I need to decide if I want to continue on to do my Masters and become accredited as a Child and Adolescent Counsellor. I don't know yet. I'm lacking a bit of confidence at the moment with that. My head is telling me that I'm only coping with study because of the adjustments and supports that I have in place for this unit.

Australia Post delivered my outdoor security cameras today, so my Dad came up and installed them for me.

And I wrote in my blog for the first time in three months!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay, our brains love to do that! What are some of the excuses @NightFury?

Yes, it absolutely resonates! 💖

It's so nice to know that you're looking forward to the reading.

YAY for a distinction! What an amazing outcome. I hope this shows you how capable you are, and that asking for help/taking it slow is such a valuable tool that you're allowed to utilise. I wouldn't be able to study and work without support.

(Did I tell you I started study too?)

As for not knowing what to do... what does your heart say?

I am so relieved to hear you have some cameras installed. Is it helping to alleviate some of the anxiety you've been feeling?

Oh wow! Good on you. How did it feel to revisit your blog? You seem really excited about it. 🥰

PS: I addressed the post you tagged me in, thank you.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I was a bit confused with NightFury, but 1+1 has now equaled 2 lol.... took me a bit longer to 'get'.

How are you hun? Feels like we haven't connected in yonks!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's on Thursday night @AuntGlow...

1. It's a bowls training night and it means that I either will have to miss bowls training or cut it shorter.

2. I don't want to be out of a night at the moment. How do I know that Luna will be safe at home?

3. When I go back to work, it will be a long day for Luna at home by herself. Work, bowls training and then the group...

You didn't tell me you'd started study. What are you studying? I'm excited for you.

My heart says to take a break and to enrol in my Masters to start in the new year.

The cameras are helping a little. I've still been checking doors, but I feel less like I have to watch out the doors and watch the street to see if anyone's about.

It feels good to write @AuntGlow. It's felt really vulnerable and really raw. It's a blog about my journey and what I've learnt through my experiences...I don't know how to write about the process I'm going through now and have been through lately.

I saw that someone had. Thank you for that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @tyme I'm sorry about the name change confusion.

I am...

I am...okay. I've been really anxious and emotional, but sitting with that and acknowledging that it's okay for me to feel that way.

How are you? It does feel like forever.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

These are all perfectly valid reasons, to be honest. @NightFury

I am a big proponent of feeling into things experientually... so I wonder what it would be like to try it out one night and just see how it feels? If your body is like, 'no, this is too much', then you can try again another time?

I am studying psychotherapy! I am nervous about the essays, despite my undergrad being in writing. Mainly because I struggle with focus. 😅 I will definitely keep you posted.

I think this is a great plan.

This will continue to get easier, I promise.

I am sure many people will get a lot from your reflections and lessons. The fact it felt good to write and to tap into your authenticity/rawness is so wonderful to hear. 😍

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I don't know if you're still here, but I thought I'd share.

At the moment all I can do is to hold onto the fact that you believe it's going to get better.

I had a bad night last night. I...I can't put a TW in on my phone, so I'll talk about it in loose terms and hope that you know what I'm talking about. I was struggled last night and did something I'd managed not to do for three and a half weeks. I'm safe, I'm okay...I'm just a bit ashamed and disappointed in myself. I haven't been around much today because...I don't know how to talk about it.

I had my tarot reading today...let me know if and when you have a bit of time to chat and I can share...

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury 🫶

Always here to remind you that things will shift and change. 🥰

I am so sorry that things became this overwhelming for you, that would have been so much to manage on your own. What you're feeling is more than understandable, even so, know that I am holding compassion for the part of you that didn't know what else to do in that moment. It would have been hard.

I get the sense that so many people here would be able to sit with you in this space, if you do decide to share.

Yes, please let me know how it went! I am here until 6 EST. ☺️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow thank you for your compassion and understanding.

I'd been ignoring urges for a couple of days, then...I don't know...I went to an online lesson last night on risky behaviour and adolescents and the topic came up, and I had to leave. And it was just...it was a lot. I was proud of myself for making it almost four weeks, especially with everything going on...but now...I'm disappointed I'm myself.

The tarot reading was really interesting...

There was a lot in it, but we recorded it. Um..so...what came out in the cards

Things are a bit like a cyclone for me at the moment. My head space and belief systems are holding me back, and I'm over thinking when I don't need to. Things are already in motion and I just have to find a way to believe that I have everything that I need. At the moment, my head is telling me that abundance is in the past, but if I can shift that I'll find abundance in my future, it might just look different.

Career wise...there's something new coming. With the way the cards were spread and the combination of masculine and feminine energy, she thinks that may be hinting at something around working with young people, who have challenges regarding gender and sexuality. Something new - a new group, or working through new policies - it wasn't clear. But there will be challenges regarding beliefs and I need to remember to stand my ground.

There's a feminine energy, someone who will step forward to guide me or mentor me in my new career path.

House wise...it's not really clear. There's a choice involved. But the cards indicate maybe a period of staying where I am, while I wait for the universe to gift me something better, something that leads to growth and safety.

So, I have to move forward with the practical things, like resumes and applications and things like that, and not over think it, because once the practical things are done, then the rest will fall into place.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I just thought I would flag - I'm not getting email notifications today. Wondering if it's just me? I've checked my notification settings and nothing's changed there.

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