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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @AlwaysMyself @NightFury ,

How was everything?

My nephew doesn't go fishing much at all, but that's because we don't take him. He loves watching Outdoor Boys and pretending he is fishing.

Today wasn't as good as I expected. I had a massive migraine so while the kids were at the zoo, I sat in the car with a thumping headache....

We went in one car, so I couldn't just leave and I didn't want to spoil it for them.

So I saw the elephants and giraffes, then sat in the car. I forgot to bring painkillers with me.

So yeah... not as grand as I would've liked. You?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm sorry to hear that today was a challenging one for you @tyme and didn't wasn't as good as you expected. Headaches are rough, and it's even tougher when you have a headache and have to be out in public and moving around.

Today's felt super emotional. I just cried on my student support advisor from the Uni when he rang me to give me feedback on my assignment draft. I've tried to seek some supports today, but have come up empty handed - I can't get into my GP until Monday (we talked about medication to help me manage the panic attacks, and they've been kind of a lot over the last couple of days), I rang a service to try and get a single session because I just really want to talk about what happened and I need reassurance that my reaction is okay and normal and not something to judge myself on, but they had to close early, so...it didn't happen. My counsellor is on four weeks leave and my next appointment with my psych isn't until the 22nd of this month.

I tried to do some study early today and was just so scattered and was trying to do too many things at once, so I took a break. I went down the street and brought a coffee and some lunch (I'm trying to do little trips out to challenge my anxiety about leaving the house, because I have to go out tomorrow and Sunday).

I then came home and sorted puzzle pieces, ready to start putting a puzzle together and did some more of my Lego set. But had to step away from that to take a phone call from my student advisor. Now, I'm trying to apply the edits to my assignment that he suggested, so that I can get it submitted and I've just ordered dinner in.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sorry to hear about the headache @tyme . Definitely puts a dampener on the outing for you!

Did the kids enjoy it and report back on what was their favourite things to see? And with photos for you perhaps?

@NightFury i hope they can put you on the cancellation list if there is any last-minute spaces. Even if its only super last minute and they can only do a telehealth call. It is hard when your support appointments arent for a few weeks.

Do you have access to any other counselling through University? (Like an EAP program?) If so they might be able to get an appointment sooner to chat about the event and your feelings since?

From my limited experience and knowledge of what you've said, i imagine your reaction with anxiety is quite "reasonable" - i would definitely feel really shaken and scared too, even logically knowing I am safe. Your personal safe zone was intruded into. That is a real psychological threat to our system. And its always so unexpected which for me is why I would feel so shaken.

*big hug to you*

Hope you are enjoying your lego, puzzle, colouring, etc when not doing your assignment.

If youd like to chat about your assignment topic (if it helps get thoughts about it straight and coherent in your mind, for example) im all ears 😊. I love learning.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's a lot @NightFury .

Your feelings are valid. There has been a lot going on for you and it's incredible you've been able to do what you have with your assignments.

Please take it easy. It sounds like a lot of things are still so raw.

Here's a hug for you. HUG*

You deserve so much TLC at the moment.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I haven't been able to listen to them yet @AlwaysMyself . I know my nephew is drawing the animals and writing about them at the moment. He soaks in information.

I'll ask them on Sunday. They are going to the farm tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sorry @tyme and @AlwaysMyself I got stuck in hyperfocus trying to get my assignment edited and submitted. I just realised that my dinner arrived and it's still sitting on the bench, cold and uneaten.

I'm really emotional at the moment and struggling with regulation, but I'm trying to constantly remind myself of that @tyme, that my feelings are valid and my reaction is okay. I don't need to judge it at the moment. It's a work in progress.

I really needed a hug, so thank you.

It frustrates me when I try to help myself, but the systems and processes and life in general won't bend in a way that allows it to happen. Having to wait for supports, for a GP appointment, being unable to find someone to talk through it all until I have my next appointments...it's hard.

@AlwaysMyself my counsellor is an EAP counsellor. She's announced that she's going on unintended leave for four weeks and have cancelled all appointments during that time.

My assignment topic was an interesting one...

It was on the impacts of Internet addiction and problematic Internet use on adolescents. We had to talk about the precipitating factors, the perpetuating factors, the impacts, the treatment and the services available, stakeholders and barriers and enablers.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Totally understandable reaction the emotions @NightFury .

You know what is good about emotions?

They cannot harm you in themselves. How our bodies react maybe, but the emotion if we can acknowledge and accept it and know that the feeling may be there without us being in any danger, its uncomfortable but keep breathing deep and slow, and the emotion cant actually hurt you. *big hug*

Would either binaural beats or the EFT tapping help? (Or perhaps @tyme 's impulse to tap on EFTpos to buy something? Lol)

That is a really interesting topic!! I love they are including modern issues and treatment in the course. 😊

I often feel that my partner is addicted to media (video games, internet, etc). Prob not at a clinical level, but he just cant be unoccupied and sit with himself.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

This @AuntGlow made a difference. I feel more relaxed in my body. It's almost a relief.


I am sooo glad this resonated with you.

How are you feeling now, lovely? 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow how's your weekend been? How are you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury, sorry it’s been awhile in between chats, big apologies but I have been thinking of you, I also temporarily lost this chat (rookie error 😜)


How’s your day going? What’s your week ahead looking like?

How is Miss Luna? 🐶, my girl also sleeps on my bed too! I feel safer with her in my room and I think she loves being on the bed too hehe.

Hi everyone 👋 🫶 @AuntGlow @AlwaysMyself @tyme @Till23

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