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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Just glimmers @tyme just good things in your day.

I don't know how to help myself to feel safe at the moment. I just keep reminding myself that the locks have been changed and I am physically safe. But knowing it and feeling it are two different things.

I spoke to a Lifeline counsellor today and we talked about what happened and the time when I was a child when we got home to find our house had been broken into. It had been my birthday and they had stole most of my presents. I remember being so scared that I would wake up in the middle of the night and they'd be standing in my bedroom or in the middle of robbing my house. It's kind of brought some of that back, I think.

Sorry to hear you're hayfever's playing up. I get the sneezes from hay fever, it's horrible. Has there been a lot of wind up your way? Might be why?

Maybe the online shopping is not a need thing? Maybe it's a want - maybe you want something nice for yourself. We're allowed to get what we want sometimes.

I love going to the zoo, so to me, that sounds like lots of fun.

I'm not doing anything tomorrow. I was semi planning on taking myself out to lunch and going to see a movie, but I'm going to stay home.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I agree @NightFury - retail therapy is a real things! 😋

Although I have also known people to whom online buying (eBay especially) was a stress/anxiety avoidance behaviour and became a problem. But it does sound like Tyme is in that category! 😊

I can recommend Retail Therapy at Zoo shops @tyme because the profits go to support the zoos 😁😁😁. I am also partial to soft toys or practical items like shirts/jumpers. Oh and one zoo I went to sold jenka blocks! (Similar to lego)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I totally hear you about finding it hard to stay safe. I really don't have any hinters about from the fact that what you are experiencing is so valid and would be what most people would be feeling. I hope you do not feel there is anything 'wrong' about how you are feeling.

I should also add that the police did find the people in the end for me. They also found my car but it was a write off. Long story short, I got a payout and a new car? @NightFury

I remember even months after, I'd wake up, thinking I'd heard something. I think that hypervigilance comes with being broken into.

I'm really glad you have these strategies you are trying at the moment.

I wonder if you can take some time at home and re-create the space as it's yours again? Do things you enjoy at home?

Also, is this the same place that you'd be moving out of soon too?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes! Retail therapy! @NightFury @AlwaysMyself I like it!

I'm just really mindful of 'rubbish', plastics etc. I don't want to further pollute the environment as it is. The Zoo shop idea is great.

The alternative is to spend money on food... but there's only so much food you can get.

I even looked into holiday cruises today. I looked at purchasing a holiday home last night... the thing is, I think it's just a phase... what do I need a holiday home for?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

For me, spending money on food like that also feels like such a waste @tyme

Buy something to reward yourself. Treat yourself.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I should! I tend to buy food for the kids. I buy them everything because there's nothing i want @NightFury

What's the latest at your school? What are the kids into?

The kids here are into miniature resin foods as toys. They were also into Mogo Mogu drinks recently.

The older kids are into 'skin care routines' and 'pimple patches'... geezz

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The kids in my class are a varied bunch @tyme they're into computer games. Some are into Lego, some are into art and drawing anime characters. They play a lot of sports, so soccer is popular as is AFL footy.

They're into a whole bunch of things, really.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And your kiddos are older! My niece is only 9 and her grade is all into makeup and stuff! I wish they stayed kids...

Then, my nephew's grade are all innocent. Still play with toy cars and trains..

Lego is awesome.

Did i tell you I bought tackle boxes and will put treats in them for my nephew's bday? He loves fishing so I'm doing a little fish theme for him. He's not having a gathering or anything. He had one last year. @NightFury

Please take care and I'll tell you how my zoo trip goes tomorrow.

I'll check in when I see you tomorrow.

continue to practice your self-care and please look after yourself!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

They grow up far too quickly these days @tyme

You didn't tell me. It sounds like a great present. I've seen tackle boxes used for travel snacks. Does he go fishing often?

I'm currently freaking out a little, because it's time to start thinking about getting some sleep...or trying to. The lights are on, the TV'S on and I've just gotten into bed. I'm doing some breathing to calm myself down. I don't like leaving the TV on because it can over heat and cause fires.

Please do check in when you're about tomorrow. And I'm keen to hear about your trip to the zoo.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Wishing you a quiet night @NightFury .

I didnt realise how late it got (ive been painting). Bed time for me now too.

Hope you get a sleep in, snuggled up with Luna.

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