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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 dogs are amazing company.

Getting another dog is a decision for when you're ready.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I'm really glad to hear that @AuntGlow idea of the EFT Tapping helped you calm. 😊🥰 one to keep in the quick-list for the future perhaps.

Its really interesting to see that, because I recall a counsellor who did something similar (but only 1 location) when I saw them 20 years ago. I didnt know a name for it, or how to explain what the type of therapy was other than "tapping" which when trying to explain it to other clinicians 15 years ago got me some odd looks. 🤣🤣

I wasnt an anxious person, but I had intense anger and hurt emotions, and I think this process did help teach me to "sit with" emotions and be able to let them flow through me and let go of them after acknowledging them.

I haven't seen this in 20 years!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm still doing lots of checking of doors and watching out of windows and trying to make sure I'm safe @AlwaysMyself I guess you call that vigilance. I feel calmer in my body...though at least for a while.

I hadn't tried EFT tapping before. I've heard of it, I've watched some videos of it, but I hadn't tried it. So, I'm a little impressed.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury , I've been thinking about you. Hope you are okay. Here for you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

If checking the doors and looking out windows helps, there is nothing wrong with doing that right? @NightFury it makes sense, and gives a physical action to the internal anxiety.

I had heard people talk about 528hz music on here, and then an EAP counsellor also mentioned it this week, so I searched for it and listened to it the other night. Not sure what effect others get from it, but I can see that it would be calming. Reminded me of waiting room music (which is designed to calm people whilst waiting).

You can never know what you think of something until you try it. 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

How are you? Do you have some glimmers from your day you could share with me?

I'm safe but I haven't really been okay today, no.

If I thought my anxiety was bad before. It's been amped up to the max, all day. I am a little calmer at the moment, which is nice.

I mowed my lawns this morning while the locksmith was here working on changing the locks and keys in my car. I didn't know what to do with all of the fear and anxiety in my body. My Dad came up to help me spray some weeds and tackle some of the outdoor stuff. When he left, I went to the Real Estate to hand them the new keys and almost had a panic attack in the middle of the street.

I've felt things stir and rise and get slowly worse all day. I'm jumping at all the noises, constantly checking the doors are locked and looking out of the windows. I tried an EFT tapping exercise from Aunt Glow and that helped calm my body a little.

I've also kept connected here all day.

Logically I know I've done everything to keep myself safe, but it's probably going to take a little while to actually "feel" it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

My counsellor actually recommended I try listening to binaural beats before going to sleep @AlwaysMyself

They make my brain happy. I can actually feel both side of my brain activating.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I might also try binaural beats @NightFury - nothing to lose by trying it out! Thanks! 😊

I just remembered that when I was having severe panic attacks (only time in my life ive had anxiety) I was told by a psychologist to watch/listen to funny things -- and it really worked!! Apparently its to do with the parts of the brain involved in the emotion signals.

Not sure what you find funny, but I watched Would I Lie To You when I needed a distraction from anxiety that could make me laugh.

I also listened to podcasts to help distract me, but they didnt reduce the anxiety if it was already there - just prevented it a bit.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Actually, from my experience, it takes more than a few days to 'get over' it. I don't know if I ever really felt safe in my space after 2 home invasions. I ended up moving. @NightFury

I can see you are putting in all the preventative measures like changing your locks. For my place, I had grills and bars on every door and window along with a triple locking system, and they pretty much broke the frame of the house to get in.... at least we know the doors are crimsafe lol...

Glimmers of hope?

I didn't do anything exceptional today (don't tell my boss that!). I just went into the SANE office to meet up with some of the team to get some work done.

What I can say is that my hayfever is playing up like hell!!! Arghh! I feel like tearing my nose off because it's so irritated!

Also, I've been doing a lot of browsing online to buy things... I'm looking for something to buy, but I don't know what. There's nothing I need, but I feel like getting something. I've been spending hours on the phone browsing the last few nights... I've stayed up until 2am of so just looking, but finding nothing I want.. sad eh? From caravans, to cars, to toys, to books... and I bought absolutely nothing....

Well I can share my day tomorrow. I'm going to take the 2 older kids to the zoo in the morning. Then on Saturday, my sister will take the three kids to the farm. Then voila! They are back at school on Monday! Woohoo!

Did you know when I first read your posts above, I read EFT tapping and registered that was EFTPOS tapping??? Geezzz... my brain!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Haha omg @tyme that is too funny. So true now days we do just tap to pay by EFTPOS. Soon enough bank EFT will be an NFC tap too eh! 😅🤣

Sorry to hear you have also experienced break-ins at home also. 😢 its definitely a statistic i look at before looking at which suburbs/streets to live in. But sometimes there isnt choice eh 😞

The zoo tomorrow sounds lovely 😍. I used to visit the zoo a lot; id sit and watch the meerkats. And when there was a new reclusive leopard I sat by its enclosure wall (and studied) occasionally looking up to see if it was about -- eventually it did come out and it was watching me and moving like it was stalking me lol.

@NightFury *more safe hugs*

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