FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

2,111 - 2,120 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That would frustrate me if someone kept asking me the same question, @NightFury . I mean, I know they are just trying to see if you're OK and help with a plan for support, but if someone doesn't know keeping on asking isn't going to help lol. 😅 it's a bit like calling an IT desk and saying "I've already tried a reboot; I've also tried clearing my cache.. and it's still not working" and they come back pre-scripted with "Please reboot your computer to see if it fixes the problem". (I work in ICT, I can say this lol)

Does logic help quieten any of your anxiety? or more of an emotional anxiety?

(if logic does help - i can ply you with many reasons why you will be safe 😛 But I also know that when I am feeling alone and scared that it still doesn't help me feel safe even if I logically know the odds of not being safe are small).

We can assign Luna to alert/guard duty again tonight. 😊 She will for sure let you know if anyone tries to break in, right?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Logically I know that I'm safe @AlwaysMyself the locks have been changed. They can't get in unless they break a window, the keys they have to my car no longer work....etc, but convincing my body of that is another thing entirely.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yep, can 100% understand that. That's how my body is sometimes - and I don't even have the excuse of having experienced someone breaking in before!

Sitting with you @NightFury .

Would you like to tell me Luna's story?

Have you had her since a pup? or what age?

How old is she now?

What is her personality like?

Most memorable moment? (funny, cheeky, sweet, etc)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have experienced it before @AlwaysMyself, when I was a child, and I think maybe some of that is coming up too.

Luna was a rescue. A lady's dog had 12 pups and she couldn't afford to keep them. I offered her $25 for Luna and she accepted. I took her straight to the vet, got her vaccinated and vet checked and cleared. I had another dog at the time. Her name was Poppy and they mostly got along okay, but Poppy was food protective and would attack Luna at meal times.

Poppy was a Chi x Staffy and had a temper. Typical Chi really. She would take it out on Luna. Luna was always an anxious dog. It took a lot for her to get used to walking on a lead because a leaf blowing by would scare her. She had terrible car sickness...both ends which is gross.

But she quickly became my heart and soul. She gets pretty bad seperation anxiety still and if we don't keep to her routine or something sets her off it triggers Wreck it Ralph mode and she destroys something. Luckily she hasn't done that in a while. But as I said...she now has a routine to help her feel comfortable and supported when I go to work during the day.

She is petrified of other dogs - probably because of Poppy. She's a 30 kilo dog, who has a tendency to climb up my legs and hang over my shoulder if another dog approaches us on walks. She can be hard work. But so can I.

When I moved to QLD in 2023. I rehomed Poppy because she was just to unpredictable and I also had two MaineCoon cats named Odin and Freya and they were rehomed too but I couldn't fathom being separated from Luna. So she came with me. She's been an only dog since then and she absolutely loves it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Luna sounds very lucky to have you @NightFury , especially with how understanding you are of her separation anxiety and how routine can help her cope. 😊

I am trying to imagine what a Chi x Staffy looks like lol. One is dainty and small, and one is goofy and boofhead 🤣.

MaineCoons! How amazing! I have not met a full-MC (only cross) face-to-face yet, but I love the look and size of them because they are dog-sized. 😄 (I have 2 large/giant breed dogs myself, although they are both only either side of 30kg. Long & lean dog type.)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

This is what Poppy looks like @AlwaysMyself

She now lives with someone I used to work with! She's happy.

 

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh stunning 😍 Thank you @NightFury . She looks so much like a staffy - but I'm guessing she was a lot smaller from the Chi genes?

A mini-staffy would be so cute lol. But a Chi-temper with staffy-jaws could be problematic at times lol

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

She was about Jack Russell size @AlwaysMyself and she was a biter and had attitude.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Aw bless, I am so glad he is able to show up for you right now. @NightFury

Well, I can imagine that you might be feeling quite hypervigilant generally because your sense of safety has been shaken as a whole, so going out alone would understandably feel quite exposing. 💛

I am mindful of being overly positive about everything without first honoring and acknowledging that how you're feeling is allowed and very real. But I want to reassure you that these feelings - to this extent - will pass. In saying this, what do you think you need to hear/know right now?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know what I need @AuntGlow

I'm sitting here, working on some lego, the TV on, the wood heater going but every time the house makes a noise, or there's a noise outside I jump.

Right now, I feel a bit teary.

2,111 - 2,120 of 3,920