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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, yay! So close. @NightFury

I am sure things will shift as you get a bit of a break, you know?

That sounds really wholesome. 🥹 I won't be here Friday, but so many of us will be here to celebrate you too. 🤩

What is your favourite kind of cake?

Oh wow, that experience in Fiji sounds incredible, what a beautiful moment. I definitely would have cried!!

Emotional about this birthday, you mean?

Ah yes, your later starts, that must have felt like luxury. I actually think my glimmer was the same, really enjoying a cafe breakfast and some reading, then pilates, straight into work - it's really nice being able to go slow.

Let's manifest more slower starts for you. ✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hope they shift @AuntGlow I need them to.

My ultimate favourite kind of cake is ice cream cake. Lol. Just a big kid at heart, I guess. My next fave is chocolate mud cake.

I cried for different reasons my first day in Fiji. But it was amazing!

Yeah, emotional about this birthday.

Slower starts would be ideal. I hate rushing around and starting my day stressed.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon @NightFury,

How are you feeling today?

Oh my gosh - YES. Ah, so yum! What brand/type of ice cream cake do you like the most? And mud cake is an elite choice, always a win in my house.

I really like tiramisu though, it's my favourite.

Feeling emotional about this birthday makes so much sense. You have had a lot go on lately and I am sure it's a little extra vulnerable without your grandad, so know that it's okay to feel a bit different this year. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey there @AuntGlow

Not sure if you're still here, or if you were on day....

Today's been much the same. I've had a few challenges and things come up and I've used all my spoons.

I sat on the side of my bed this morning, something went bang and I ended up on the floor. My bed broke. I managed to get some screws into it, to hopefully hold it together so that I don't have to sleep on the floor tonight, but I haven't tested it out yet.

I was cook for Winter Warmers at school today, so I had to cook soup for over 20 people and it made my morning really busy.

After work, I had bowls training and now I'm sitting in the car in a car park, with my dog, waiting for the Real Estate to video call with an interstate investor who wanted to look at my house.

I'm supposed to have a call at 7 with my student advisor, just a catch up call to see how study is going and I've just messaged him to see if I can reschedule. I'm cooked.

How was your day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've just realised that I only replied to a little bit of your message @AuntGlow

I like Valhalla ice cream cakes, but they don't make them any more and it's not ice cream cake weather at the moment.

I don't know...it just feels different. I'm sad and struggling and I wish I could celebrate it with as much enthusiasm as I've had for my birthday in the past.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Here with you @NightFury 🫶

I am so sorry to hear about your bed! That would have been so frustrating, gah! Good on you for exploring a way to mend it, I really hope you can find a new one soon. 😣

WOW! That is very impressive. What kind of soup did you end up cooking?

Such a huge day for you with the real estate and investor as well...

That's okay, I am glad to hear you are setting work boundaries, that's really imperative for your wellbeing.

Oh bugger, I hate it when that happens... do you have a runner up? And it's always ice-cream weather! hehe

I hear you on this, it's heavy when we can't meet ourselves where we think we should be. I know I have asked this before, but what would you say to one of your students if they shared something like this with you? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I cooked a chicken and corn soup @AuntGlow it's really easy.

I would tell them to do something for themselves tomorrow, even if it's something small and to take the day as it comes.

I'm not feeling so great tonight, AuntGlow. I'm going to head off. I'll be alright, I'm going to curl up in bed.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay, lovely. Here if you change your mind and need to talk.

Please take care of yourself - sending big hugs your way! 💛 @NightFury

Oh, and I absolutely agree with this advice.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have tears for the second time tonight @AuntGlow I needed a hug, so thank you.

I hope you have a good couple of days off. Good night, Aunt Glow.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

🥹❤️ @NightFury

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