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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That umbrella was very interesting @Jynx

Hello @NightFury 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @Shaz51 hope you're doing okay?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon @NightFury,

I am so happy to hear the course coordinator is helping you with an extension. I am glad you're listening to your body - it's definitely asking you for a release and a break, so good on you for honouring that (it will thank you!).

I really struggled getting out of bed yesterday too. 💛

Awww that's so sweet! Was it a sport class or at lunch??

Would love to hear another glimmer of yours today too. ✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow I'm kind of here, but I'm not here tonight. It's been a rough emotional day and I just feel heavy and my body feels heavy and exhausted.

I hope you gave yourself the opportunity to rest, yesterday too.

We had a family day yesterday. We invited parents to come in and experience what school is like for their children. They sat in classes, they went out in the playground at recess and lunch and then in the afternoon we had a BBQ and played games. Cricket was one of those games.

My glimmer today? Is it okay if it's just that today was the first day we've had in a couple of weeks where it didn't rain?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I understand what you mean... can you surrender to that heaviness and give your body what it needs at all? @NightFury

I know you would tell me to allow myself space and time. 💛

How does it feel to have parents there?? I can imagine it would be both daunting and rewarding?

Absolutely! I love that the weather showed up for you. I am hoping it gets better as the days go by. I dislike the cold immensely haha

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I had an early night, but woke up feeling much the same. @AuntGlow I'm struggling this week.

It was daunting and weird to have the parents in class. It felt a bit like they were watching and judging us, though they probably weren't. All of them were lovely to talk to. It was nice to get to know them a little better.

I saw there's a new thread for those who hate summer! I am absolutely the opposite. I HATE winter with a passion. I love the sun and the warmth of the sun. I love being able to wear shorts and t-shirt and ditch the layers. I love the fact that my body hurts less in summer.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury,

How are you feeling today?

It's okay to have hard weeks... it's tough though, isn't it? What's been helping you get through today, even slightly?

Yes, it's quite a bizarre concept, hey? But I am certain they loved your work!

SAME. We can bond over our mutual love of the warmth because I feel like it brings out so much more lightness in me! I also like Summer clothes more too. How amazing that your pain subsides as well.

What are three more things you're looking forward to about this Summer? 🤩🌞

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've been really scattered, my thoughts have been all over the place and I've had to remind myself several times what day of the week it is @AuntGlow but I haven't had tears today. The routine felt off at work and the day felt strange. I feel...all over the place and I can't keep my focus on what's going on around me.

It is tough. It's my birthday on Friday and I really want my mood to lift because I love my birthday. So much for no tears...

Three more things I'm looking forward to about summer?

- Daylight savings - where the day light is longer and it doesn't get dark until 9 pm.

- BBQ's

- The beach

What are your three more things?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like you're really exhausted @NightFury. It's so hard to focus and feel grounded from this place... when is you next school term break?

Oh, I really hope it lifts too. But if it doesn't, that's okay as well. It might be helpful to meet yourself where you're at and ask, 'What would be enjoyable for me to do right now without pushing myself to be anywhere different?'

Do you have any plans or intentions set for your birthday? 🤩

Ah, yes - I love these too!

For me it would be... sunlight and warmth, longer days, wholesome outdoor activities in nature. I think I want to get into sundresses this year too. 🌻

Do you have a little glimmer from today at all?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We have two days left of the term @AuntGlow, so I'm on holidays next week.

It's a routine thing in our family to go out for dinner, just my Mum, Dad, brother, his kids and his wife - immediate family - so we are going out for dinner on Friday night. Nothing fancy, only a pub meal. I buy myself some gifts, and I like to shout myself a birthday cake.

Last year's birthday was something special and very unique. I was living in QLD and my Mum and Dad surprised me by coming up to spend the two weeks before my birthday, with me. I hadn't seen them for five months and I was so very homesick, so it meant the world to me. Then the day after, I went to Fiji for a conference. At dinner, the leader of the conference organised the locals to sing their cultural birthday song to me. I got to watch war dances and cultural music presentations and dances. It was a birthday I'll never forget.

I'm kind of emotional about this one for some reason.

Wonderful things to look forward to for summer AuntGlow!

My glimmer today was that it was Wednesday and I had my late start, so I didn't have to be at work until 9. I had an extra hour sleep in and was able to slow down my morning. Do you have a glimmer you'd like to share?

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