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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh yes, the book launch!! Tell me more! How did you feel there? And was it nice getting quality time with your friend? @NightFury

That lunch sounds really good. 🤩

Often, the things that take the most courage are the must vulnerable and the most rewarding. I know discomfort and fear are coming up for you (and they are allowed to be there), but this honestly sounds like such a gift to have someone who is listening and supportive of where you're at - especially someone who works in mental health (a perfect person to confide in!).

Shame and embarrassment are also allowed. Maybe that's some insight into the little MissinTooth that needs some support and reassurance? 🥰

I am glad that seeing your friend brought about a sense of lightness.

I wonder if this is something you can talk about with your GP? I know you are seeing your EAP, but are you able to remind me if a new psychologist is on the horizon?

I am sending you every ounce of safe, restful energy that I can right now! 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The book launch @AuntGlow I met some people and had to use my voice. I go kinda quiet and withdrawn and often have to remind myself to actually respond when people talk to me and not just in single words, to put actual sentences together. I am so socially awkward. But is was lovely to spend some time with a friend - to be able to talk deeply with someone else.

He wants to support me to get this unit finished. He wants to wrap as many supports around me as he can - including scheduling weekly catch up phone calls and extension applications.

I think it is an insight, but I don't know if I can explore that too deeply at the moment. My brain is so busy with other things going on.

I don't know if talking to my GP about my sleep and nightmares and anxiety around sleep and...my anxiety when I don't get enough sleep and the whole contradictory nature of it would help? Maybe my psychologist? I do have a new psychologist and have had one appointment with her. I have another coming up in the middle of next month, I think.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It can ruin a day @Jynx I know that feeling.

I absolutely relate to a lot of neurodivergent attributes.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You're not diagnosed are you @NightFury? I think we've had this conversation lol but I can't quite remember. But if you have C-PTSD then you are neurodivergent (the umbrella includes BPD and stuff too).

Oh look found it!

Anyway, always happy to yammer on about this stuff so feel free to pepper me with any queries you got!! I should skedaddle tho - ty for the chats hun, catch you next time!! 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No, nothing formal, but recently I've had my counsellor and my psych make suggestions as to what they think is happening for me. @Jynx My psych suggested I be tested for neurodivergence and sent me some screeners to do. My counsellor just last week suggested I may have CPTSD. I think...I resonate with OCD thinking too, but that's just coming from me. I'm taking medication for anxiety and depression symptoms, and to help with panic attacks.

I didn't realise so many things fit under neurodivergence. Wow! Thank you for sharing that and good night.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening, lovely! @NightFury

Wow, that sounds like it would have been an interesting challenge for you. I get that though, sometimes it's really hard to show up socially. I am proud of you for going, and it would have been nice to have a safe person there with you.

This sounds like a wonderful support plan. 😍

That's okay - all in your own time.

Speaking with your psychologist is absolutely a good idea, I think they can help to shift the cycle. I will have a think about some resources I can send too. How are you feeling about your next appointment? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I would appreciate some resources if you can find some @AuntGlow

My next appointment with my psychologist isn't until the 22nd of next month. I do have an appointment with the EAP counsellor on the 7th though. It was supposed to be the 1st, but she rang me today to reschedule. I have a couple of things to talk about now - managing dissociation and my sleep challenges. My psych appointment feels like it's too far away to worry about yet.

How was your day? What was a glimmer from your day today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I really like 'Therapy In A Nutshell' - she has a webinar video about ptsd and nightmares/sleep with a specialist. You may find it helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOxgWc0f4iE

Okay, I am glad you have some support before the 22nd. I am genuinely so happy to hear that your support network is growing - you have come SO far since I met you. I know things are tough, but I also know things will shift and change for you, because they already have. 🥰

Ooh, my glimmer today has been working actually - it was really heartwarming to read some of the responses on the celebration thread. 🥹

What about you? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for sharing @AuntGlow I'll definitely check it out. I appreciate anything that can help me work my way out of this cycle with my sleep.

I don't feel like I've come that far. Not on days like to day where my body forces me to acknowledge how I exhausted I feel.

It's a great thread. I've read through it. My glimmer? I've struggled today. From the start, I really didn't want to get out of bed and I could have easily rolled over and went back to sleep for a good three hours this morning, instead of getting up and going to work. But....my glimmer was playing cricket on the oval with the kids this afternoon.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow the course coordinator has offered to support me a two week extension on the last two assignments that I have due. And help with more structure and supports around those assignments if needed.

This morning, I was standing at the jug waiting for it to boil so that I could make myself a coffee and crying simply because I felt absolutely exhausted and done. I cried on the drive to work, for the same reason.

So, I decided to accept the extension offer.

takes the pressure off.

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