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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have never seen Kmart so busy @NightFury lol I got to checkout and there were like... 30-40 people there. I was just like 'okay I am NOT waiting that long just for candles and googly eyes' 🤣

Yeah they have GIANT googly eyes in the halloween section lol they are like dinner plate sized and I wanted to put em on my house LMAO

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Giant googly eyes sound so cool @Jynx

I wandered through Kmart today and if I'd known earlier I might have picked some up!

I don't like waiting in lines either. My patience isn't wonderful in those situations.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening @NightFury,

I am so sorry it's taken me a bit to get back to you, there's always so much to attend to after a couple of days off! How are you today? 🥰

Your plan for the 10 weeks is perfect! That is exactly what I would do. I actually used to do educational theatre haha and we just did relevant scenes/unpacked them with the kids.

Just picking the main moments within the text is more than enough and they will love it!!

Have you noticed any lighter moments over the weekend?

I can see that you have had some heavier moments too... I am just thinking, if you sit with this part of you that doesn't feel good enough and ask her what she needs - what does she say?

Oh I wish I could give you a big hug! The fighting your sleeping meds to avoid nightmares sounds truly exhausting... and honestly, a big contributer to our more habitual thoughts is lack of sleep. I really hope you get better rest tonight.

How was watching your dad and brother play today? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's okay @AuntGlow it's the nature of the forums.

Today...I had a good morning. I went to a book launch with my friend, then caught up and chatted for an hour over coffee. Afterwards, I stopped by my favourite healthy take away option and had a satay chicken bowl...which I adore.

Driving home...I just felt all of my spoons disappear. Thank fully, it's been raining and I couldn't mow the lawns, this has given me some space to rest a bit.

I've just done something that...is a good thing, but feels vulnerable...I guess is the word. My student support person/online coordinator knows about my challenges at the moment (he actually works as a mental health nurse, which makes him a bit of a safer person for me to reach out to when my mental health challenges impact on my studies). He rang me to check in and talk through the next assignment, which is due next weekend and he encouraged me to reach out to the unit facilitator and share my challenges with her, so she can support me through extensions and more time. I told him, I felt as if...that would be using my challenges as an excuse and he was adamant that I needed to get that out of my head.

So, when I got off the phone, I emailed her and gave her a summary of where I'm at and what I'm finding challenging.

As I said, I feel pretty vulnerable and exposed now. I didn't realise that I actually had some shame and embarrassment over the fact that study is hard for me at this point in time.

Can I honestly say, there were no lighter moments in yesterday. It was a shocker, but this morning catching up with my friend after not seeing her for a while felt like a lighter moment.

It's a big issue for me. I need to take the sleep meds so that I actually get some sleep, but when I have nightmares, I get really anxious and scared of sleeping....

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury omg tell me about it. Neurodivergent hell is just endless queues and afternoon appointments and waiting for incoming phone calls and expecting tradies between 10am and 4pm and and and 😫😵

🤣

Waiting is my enemy, I feeeeeel you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx waiting mode is horrible.

Like for example...on Wednesday the real estate are sending people in to check the fire alarms sometime between 9 am and 6 pm....

Like...just give me a time....

Or I have a phone call with my online student support advisor person with the uni this evening at 6....I literally have been waiting since 3 pm....and like...I can't turn the TV on because the episode or movie that starts might not finish in time for me to not be interrupted with the phone call.

It's complicated!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

My husband can not stand waiting @Jynx , @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

OMG @NightFury '9am-6pm' is a nightmare waiting time!! You poor poor dear.

The 'unable to watch an episode' dealio is soooo real. Even if the show is only 20min an episode and I have 30 minutes, I just know I'll pause it and like, get super distracted and then either have to pause it with like 5 min left (annoying) or I'm late.... lol

@Shaz51 you end up needing to be his entertainment a lot? 🤣

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know if this makes sense but...the kind of 9 am to 6 pm, or the whole...I'll be there before 2 pm deal is actually painful. @Jynx

It frustrates me to the point where I get angry because I want to do something, but can't due to waiting time.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Absolutely feel that @NightFury like when I was doing my ADHD quizzes and it talked about a 'short fuse' I was like 'nah I am not an angry person' then I thought about it, about how easily frustrated I get over certain things and was like... ahh. Hmm. Yes I see.

🤣

Honestly it can outright ruin my day tho hey 😒

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