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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow exhausted is a good word for it, I think.

I'm not sure how I can better support myself this week. I think it comes down to just letting myself be? Be whatever and wherever I'm at on the day and not pushing. Like with study for example, acknowledging when it's not working for me and allowing myself the time and space to say..."not today," without feeling guilty or pressured.

Work's a hard one, though.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


I'm not sure how I can better support myself this week. I think it comes down to just letting myself be? Be whatever and wherever I'm at on the day and not pushing. Like with study for example, acknowledging when it's not working for me and allowing myself the time and space to say..."not today," without feeling guilty or pressured.


@NightFury I really like this as a focus point for you right now. How are things feeling today? 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

Things feel a little better today. My head isn't as foggy and I'm not feeling as disconnected. It kind of scares me when that happens.

I was frustrated this afternoon because I had one commitment after the other - I had a staff meeting, then I had to do some study, then I had a recovery group to attend. The frustration set in because I just wanted to come home and just be.

I've just had a shower and sat down for some me time before heading to bed soon. I'm trying to wind down.

I had an interesting conversation today, and an interesting session with the EAP counsellor yesterday evening, which has made me really think about things.

But I messaged my friend (the one who's home from Scotland) today and booked in for a tarot and energy reading for the school holidays, and she asked me to go to a book launch with her on Sunday. I've never been to a book launch. My friend is a ghost writer/author/publisher and she helps people write and publish their own books.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury,

I totally get this... what do you think made things feel a bit better?

Oh goodness, I have honestly felt this way as of late too! Like, please - give me a moment to breathe!! 😂

How did it feel when you were finally able to sit and just be?

I would love to hear what the conversation with the EAP counsellor has got you thinking about, when you're ready, of course.

Aw, I am SO glad you have been able to reach out to her. I am sure that felt so nice and grounding. I didn't know you were into tarot ! Tell me more.

The book launch sounds really exciting, I get the sense you will meet a lot of likeminded people there. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm not sure what made me feel a little clearer @AuntGlow maybe it was simply a matter of getting more sleep. I woke up all foggy this morning too, so it's very up and down at the moment.

It felt good when I was finally able to sit and be, but it's hard for me to wind down. I'm tired, but my brain is engaged and churning and working through lots of different things and it's hard for me to turn that all off.

With the EAP counsellor, we talked about a lot of things but the part that's got me thinking the most is our conversation around work and my work situation for next year. She asked me a couple of really interesting questions - the first was around why I chose medication to help manage my anxiety and I spoke about how I needed help to get me through the day and to make my work day more manageable and she asked me, if I wasn't working in my current job, would I still use medication to help me manage my anxiety at work.

We talked about how my work makes my anxiety difficult because there's no space, time and opportunity to take care of my own needs. I'm putting myself second to my students. We talked about how maybe teaching and the teaching lifestyle, the system and the expectations don't align with me any more. She flagged the idea of me having CPTSD, which also creates separation from self and if not healed or dealt with earlier, people can get to my age and struggle because they have no firm self-identity or understanding of what makes them who they are. I feel this. It's why I'm struggling with job choices because I don't know what aligns with me - I've attached my identity to being a teacher, and she pointed out, that's what I do, not who I am. She said that part of healing is coming back to create my idea of self, and that process can become fun in the long run.

There's this interesting process my thoughts are going through now. I'm shifting between, "I'm a failure, I'm a terrible teacher, I don't have a future," to looking at what opportunities may be out there for me away from teaching, and it starting to feel like something that sits well with me, as something that could just boil down to me exploring what does align with me. It fluctuates.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh and tarot @AuntGlow

I'm into tarot and energy healing, and can play the sound bowls. I occasionally do tarot readings and I also started learning to read runes. I write a blog where I do a monthly tarot reading, and write about my experiences and lessons I'm learning in my life. I haven't written anything for a while because I'm finding it hard to write about myself at the moment. I don't talk about it often because, every one has different beliefs and I'm conscious of not creating issues with others regarding my spiritual beliefs, or offending anyone else's beliefs.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @rav3n

Thanks for sharing, I have seen it. I've kind of been lurking in the background over there.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

oh i'm glad, lurk away!! @NightFury i recently was looking through an old 'fortune telling book' i had and there was a section of runes, they sound really interesting. i wanted to try memorise some of the symbols and meanings but haven't gotten around to it yet. it's really cool that you do tarot readings!! i've been meaning to get a reading done. have you been practicing for long?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@rav3n I've been working at it for a little while.

I got to know the tarot cards by using them as a journal prompt. I'd draw a card a day and journal its relevance to my life and what came up for me. But I did a dream interpretation class, which also helped me to develop an understanding of symbology, so I transferred that knowledge into card readings. I've used them to do readings for myself and have done a couple of readings for others, but I'm still learning. As I said, I also do a monthly reading for my blog...well, I haven't in a while, but I want to get back into writing and doing monthly readings.

Runes are cool, I'm fascinated by them. I have a vegvisir, or Norse compass tattoo, which is by far my favourite tattoo and I've used protection runes before. I mentioned to a friend that I was interested in learning how to read the runes and she gave me a set of engraved amethyst runes, which are beautiful.

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