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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good morning @NightFury!

How are you feeling today? 💛

I get the up and down, and the busy brain...

Oooh that really is an interesting question! What an amazing opportunity for you to reflect on what is going on for you. And what you are expressing is a common theme among teachers right now, so know that you aren't alone. How you're feeling is perfectly valid - it sounds utterly exhausting.

I am sure the conversation around C-PTSD would have been quite vulnerable... how is this sitting with you at the moment?

Wow, it seems like slowly finding you outside of the things you do might be part of your journey here? I completely agree with her on this front, and whilst it may feel utterly terrifying at times, it also has the potential to be so freeing and life-affiming for you.

I have an idea. In alignment with the glimmers task, would you be open to sharing with me one thing each day that you notice helps you to feel like 'you'? It can be anything! For example, you've read something during your studies that made you feel aligned or had a conversation with someone that helped you to feel seen. I think this will help!

The fact that you're oscillating between feeling open and feeling closed/critical, shows that you are slowly expanding your window of tolerance - which is amazing!! I am so excited to see where this self-exploration takes you. 🥰

PS: Sorry, I accidentally pressed send before I was finished! haha

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow are you okay?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And re: tarot/energy healings - I love this so much!! What an incredible thing to do for yourself and others. Do you find this helps you to connect deeper to yourself?

You can definitely talk about it with me!! And probably Sparky too!

I really enjoy oracle and tarot reading/astrology. My housemate and I delve into it together. I want to reconnect with my more sprititual side; maybe you can help! 💛 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've got the anxious feelings today. My stomach is all swirly @AuntGlow not sure what's going on. But there's a lot happening around me today and I have students who are feeling extra vulnerable.

The conversation around CPTSD did make me feel pretty vulnerable. But my counsellor shared that she also had CPTSD and she can share her lived experience with me. She said there are three stages...

1. Heal, release the emotions and the experiences that are buried in my body in a safe and step by step way.

2. Figure out who I am and work on my self identity and what aligns with me.

3. Work on the personal life - house, job etc.

It just...it sounds like really hard, overwhelming work. But she said that it looks like I'm on the right path.

I do like your idea and I am open to it. My question is - how will I know if something feels like me? I don't even know what being me is supposed to feel like.

My class has just told me they want to do a musical theatre elective - they want to do Annie. This excites me, but also makes me feel incredibly outside of my comfort zone. I can't sing and I don't know how to teach it. But I also love the idea. I have to figure out how to turn Annie into something we can pull off in 10 weeks.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury using tarot cards as journaling prompts is a really interesting way of practicing - i have a pack of tarot cards that i've wanted to use but didn't know where to start, but i do like this journaling strategy, i'll have to give it a go soon.

omg that is such a cool tat!!! i LOVE the concept of 'protecting you from not losing your way'.
i was reading a book where the characters used runes so now i've got a fresh fascination around them. protection runes sound handy to know. aww that's such a sweet gift, i can imagine how pretty the amethyst rune set would be!!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@rav3n let me know how the journalling with the tarot cards goes. Maybe I should go back to doing the same thing? Maybe it'll help me break the reluctance I have to journal? Just a thought.

I'll pop up a photo later of the rune set, if I forget, just remind me. My brain is scattered on the best of days.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

if you do go back to journaling, i'd love to know some examples of prompts you'd use from tarot - no pressure though! @NightFury

ooo yes i'd love to see it - i'll remind you later. thanks so much for sharing about tarot and runes 💗

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hmmm, could you be energetically taking on what the students are feeling? @NightFury

It's so nice that she was able to connect with you and share her lived experience to help you feel supported.

I also think that 1/2/3 could work in conjunction with one another! You may find that deepening into yourself will allow organic answers to arise about what's next, which may bring up some vulnerability, and then you might need to explore how to create more safety so you can stretch your tolerance, and so on...

I think you will discover what 'you' feels like as you explore it, but I would say, the feeling

comes from within the moments where you feel 'light' in your body. Does that make sense?

Ooh, How fun! Well, as someone who has studied Music Theatre, I will do my best to help!

Usually the things that excite and scare us are the very things we need to grow and deepen into ourselves - I think the universe has given you a bit of a gift here actually. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Could be @AuntGlow but I just think it's me...

It needs to work in conjunction with one another, AuntGlow. The sorting out work and life stuff is happening regardless - it's not something that I can put the brakes on to wait for the others to fall into place.

That makes sense. I know the feeling, though it' not one I've had very often recently.

I would love some help with the musical theatre elective. I feel so out of my depth. I love musicals, but I've never had to teach and put one together.

My glimmers today...

- take away coffee this morning

- and the musical theatre excitement and challenge.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

As you explore this new phase, know that we will be here for you, okay? 💛 @NightFury

Maybe you could become curious about when the feeling comes up? Even if it's slightly? I would love to hear about it when you notice it next. ✨

What guidelines have they given you with the musical? Is it a full production or a classroom activity to better understand the text? ☺️

Ah, good coffee truly makes my day.

And this musical is a great idea. I would start with a table read - so work on who you would like to 'cast' and then get the class to read the text out loud.

From there, I would take notes about any ideas, themes, concepts you have that you would like to work with.

Break things down into sections: singing, dancing, blocking.

So, learning the songs, learning any dancing, and staging the scenes.

It's common practice to get people to start learning their lines together and developing their characters/relationships, whilst you work on the bigger scenes and songs with more of the cast.

Let me know if any of that doesn't make sense and remember that you are amazing and very capable! 💛

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