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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sure is @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury - saw things have been super tough for you lately so just wanted to pop in quickly and send some hugs 💜

(っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ♡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hugs @Jynx

Thank you, hugs are appreciated and needed. ❤️

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good morning @NightFury,

How are you feeling today? 🌞

Oh, a family birthday sounds really, really lovely. Are you a Virgo or Libra?

A float tank and reiki are beautiful ways to nourish your nervous system.

Your friend is back! YAY! How are you feeling about seeing her?

Aw, that's not daggy at all, that sounds like such a wonderful way to honour his memory and find connection with him.

How has slowing down been this weekend? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow you're not normally around during the day on Sunday! I appreciate it, it's just different. How are you?

I woke up yesterday feeling really heavy and absolutely exhausted, so I needed a slow day. I did some study but limited it to an hour, then sat and watched TV for the rest of the day, with a nap or two thrown in there. I didn't have the energy to even worry about whether I was being lazy.

This morning, I woke from a nightmare. I dreamt I was in a busy city with my Mum and brother and they needed to go to the toilet, so we found one in a busy city square/park and they went in and I waited outside but they didn't come back. I'd lost them. I woke feeling sad and teary and alone. So, I reached out to Lifeline.

I have a few jobs to do today. I've done the house work, I'm having wood delivered and I'd like to mow the lawns. I also have to finish off this week's study content. But I'm also conscious of the fact that once again, I'm filling my day with stuff to do.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I know!! I swapped my times so I can go to my oldest friend's birthday dinner tonight. @NightFury 💛

I think this is really positive - you met yourself where you were at and invited in softness.

Oh wow, that would have been very overwhelming. I am glad that you were able to turn to Lifeline in that moment. How did they support you?

Well, maybe it's okay that you're busy... perhaps it's about the approach? Are you listening to your body? Taking breaks where you need? That kind of thing. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

A friend's birthday dinner sounds amazing @AuntGlow what an opportunity to connect with people and celebrate a friend.

Well, they just listened! They asked me to tell them about my Grandad and listened to me talk about the losses and the uncertainty about my future. They linked me to their supports and info on grief. Nothing is solved, the problem's still there, and I still feel like I'm not good enough, I still feel lost. I'm trying not to get swamped by those feelings though. But I just needed someone to listen at that time.

Im taking a break now. I think I'm done with the physical stuff. I've just stacked wood and mowed the back lawn. The front lawn will have to wait. I'm going to do an hour of study, then give myself the rest of the day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's fine dining @NightFury!! Which I have never done before... I have had to save my pennies for this one. 🫣

Sometimes just having another person there can be helpful. But I get what you mean - that the feelings are still there (and that's okay).

I don't want to dismiss or try and change how you're feeling at all here... but I encourage you to do what you are able to do, to show up for this part of you today in some small way. For example, these breaks sound like a lovely way to show your body and mind that you're there to support them. You've already been plenty productive in my opinion! 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've never really done any fine dining either @AuntGlow. I wouldn't even have anything to wear, or know what cutlery to use. I hope you enjoy the experience.

I will do my best. When big emotions come up, sometimes it's easier for me to keep moving, to keep busy instead of having to process and deal with them, but I also acknowledge that it's unhelpful and often means that I shove it all down and don't deal with it. I have to find a balance that my brain is okay with - like...do the jobs, and then you can give yourself the time and space that you need, without feeling like I'm failing the day, or being slack.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Honestly, me too!! I had a bit of a moment about it last night... but I am going to show up as I am (minus the diamonds and pearls. 😝)

That's exactly it.

You'll find your balance.

And I am here if you want to talk more about it all, okay? 💛

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