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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I agree with that @tyme sometimes I clear my throat that much that I start to panic, because it starts to feel strange.

And when I try to stop my shoulder twitch, and I pay attention to it, I feel like it gets worse.

I've always wondered what a floatation tank would feel like. I hate massages done by people, but love massage chairs. I'm good with enclosed spaces, and I love being in water...I don't like the dark though. Is it dark in there?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Nah, it's not dark. You can leave the lid open if you want. There are lights in there that change colour and you can have music on or off.

I'm not used to being still and that's why it was good for me because it MADE me be still for 60 mins! I couldn't go anywhere.

I HATE massages, but the floatation tank was great. I wish it was warmer, but other than that, I can't complain. Your skin feels so silky smooth after too @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have a saying that applies to myself...

I have a body in constant motion @tyme sitting still just doesn't happen for me. I even pace back and forth when I read to my class. It must annoy them.

It annoys me sometimes.

I might look into a floatation tank. It's my birthday soon, on the last day of term 3, so maybe it might be a nice birthday present to myself.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am so glad to hear this @NightFury. 💛

I get this completely... could you tell me 3 things you're grateful for and 1 thing you're proud of today?

Yes, my brain does the same thing! And I actually think when it comes to things like jobs, or any opportunity like this, we need to be a bit flexible because sooo many things are often happening in the background. However, if it feels too big to wait, you are absolutely allowed to check in and ask what the status of your application is (that's what I would do!).

Yay for hydration! ooh your brekky sounds amazing.

I am so glad you get more time one morning a week, it truly sets us up for a much lighter day.

I am well, thank you for asking. There's a lot going on, where do I even begin? haha

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow

3 things I'm grateful for...

- my late start this morning

- Luna. Always Luna

- two fantastic work colleagues

1 thing I'm proud of...

Well, it's been unfolding this week, but feeling ready to start letting go of somethings. Holding into them has been causing me hurt and turmoil and it's time.

I think, if I don't hear by Friday, I might send an email and ask the question. I know they were interviewing on Thursday of last week too, so I don't know if when they said a week, they meant from the end of both interview days.

You can start wherever you feel comfortable starting? I would like to hear, if you're comfortable sharing? If not, please don't feel pressured. It's totally up to you, and it's totally okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I will respond to this properly when I am here next, but I smiled reading your gratitude list. I hope sharing them made you smile too. ☺️ @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

Maybe that's totally okay that you move around. I'm not one for sitting still either.

I'm sure the kids are so used to things flashing around in front of them that you moving around will have limited impact on them.

What are your plans for tomorrow?

Unfortunately, I didn't get any tasks done today. NONE at all...

Oh well, tomorrow's a new day;

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme I'm sorry I didn't reply last night. I had a shocker of a day and wasn't in a good head space.

My plans for today?

Just work - we have a music assembly and a school football game.

It's okay not to get the jobs itcked off and the sticky notes done. Sometimes we have days like that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello lovely @NightFury!

How are you?

Aaaand... what are 3 things you are grateful for today?

What would you like to let go of? It's interesting that you say that, 'let go' is my intention for the week as well.

Have you heard anything back about the job? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I am not great at the moment. Really having a hard time over the last couple of days.

I wasn't successful at getting a permanent teaching role in a government school for next year, this time around. There were limited roles and the applicants were strong. I found out via email this afternoon.

I want to let go of QLD and the friendships and the people there that changed and become challenging for me. I want to let go of the support avenues I had that are no longer there for me. I want to let go of the hurt of losing those friends, those people and the support avenues.

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