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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am trying to @tyme

Good night, my friend. Sleep well.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury,

How are you feeling today and how was your slower morning start?

ooh yum, what baked good/coffee did you get?

I understand that feeling. Sometimes it can be nice to simply 'be' as well. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow today has been a better day. I've felt a little lighter within myself, not as heavy.

I'm being really careful with my thoughts though, especially right now as things start to wind down for the evening. I don't want to trigger the thought slippery slope that I went down last night.

I haven't heard back from the interview I attended last week and they said that they would get back to me within a week. Today it's been a week. And my brain is really inflexible with that - if it's a week, then I'm waiting to hear back today and if I don't or haven't heard back, then something is wrong or has gone wrong. It doesn't allow for any leeway. This really...I wouldn't say triggered, but made yesterday's slippery slope of thoughts worse.

I had my blood tests done this morning - and it wasn't as bad as it's been previously. They needed to take more than normal, but they did it easily and I didn't get lectured about my veins or my hydration. Afterwards I had a brekky bun (bacon, scrambled egg and cheese), and a coffee. I had my late start at work - each week, we get a late start, it counts towards our planning time, but instead of 8 am, we start at 9.30 am and I love it. I hate starting my day in a rushed, stressed state, so having some more time to do things for myself in the morning is really valuable time.

How are you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury , it's so great to see you looking after yourself and taking active steps towards staying well.

I've always admired that about you. Well done.

I'm also glad to hear today has been lighter for you.

What would be helpful for tonight?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme thank you.

Tonight, I'm just trying to wind down. My body is tired and sore but my mind feels active and it's hard to sit still. I'm fidgety.

I've just had dinner, so I might give it half hour, then jump in the shower to try and relax myself a little and ease sore muscles.

It's just about trying to relax, so that when I go to bed, I can sleep.

How are you? How're the sticky notes?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

If you are figety, I wonder if you can go for a little dance or run or something - to re-direct that energy and 'let it out'? @NightFury

When I read that you'll 'jump' into the shower, I literally saw you hopping into the shower lol.

Do you have a bathtub? Epsom salts?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury , oh! I feel somewhat accomplished because I finished 1 sticky note. Whilst I still have 4 to go, it mean 9 out of 45 tasks are complete.

So now, only 36 tasks to go... until I get more 🙂

But I feel good about it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No bath tub here @tyme which is super disappointing. I used to have a bath tub in my other rentals and it was the way I used to relax - to the point of falling asleep in the bath.

This is gonna sound silly because I know there's no one here to watch me, so I have no reason to feel self-conscious, but I've always struggled with releasing energy in that way. I don't know how to explain why...I just feel self-conscious about randomly breaking into dance in the middle of my loungeroom. Also, I am so terrible at dancing. So, I get the leg jiggle happening constantly, or the foot tap, or I get up from my seat every 5 minutes to go for a wander to the kitchen or the loo...etc.

My muscles are sore because...my anxious tic is back.

It's embarrassing, but I have a couple of tic's...or whatever they are - a twitchy right shoulder that surfaces when I'm super anxious and I physically can't control it and I'm not aware of it until after it's happened. It's kind of like a..."oooh there it is again." It makes my back muscles tense.

And my other is clearing my throat, which hangs around all the time, but is worse when anxiety is present.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well done on getting those jobs ticked off.

I feel like I hit my job goals today too. Which helps!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And I feel that the more conscious you are of those anxiety tics, the worse they can get @NightFury . It sounds like you need to try a flotation tank! I've tried it and it's pretty amazing. It was hard to be still, but I made myself and the after effects were phenomenal.

I'm pretty self conscoius about doing 'strange' things like that, but if I'm to stay well., then it's worth it.

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