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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'll try and remember @AuntGlow I just...I know it hasn't been very long, I just want to feel better. I don't want to be a burden here, or be stuck in this...I need to look at what I can do and what I can work on to try and help myself with that.

A glimmer? It was about 15 degrees today and while it was windy and raining, it was nice not to feel freezing cold. Spring is warmer and lighter of a morning. It makes things feel a little less gloomy and physically uncomfortable.

Challenging it is hard. It's kind of a worry, but I can work at it? I could maybe look at flipping it to what glimmers or good things can I find in my day today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury,

How are you feeling today, lovely? 🥰

You're not a burden at all, I will keep reminding you of this!

Okay, what do you feel you can do and work on for you right now?

Yes, I totally get that, it's so much lighter and brighter for the mind and body. What do you find you do differently when it's warmer/sunnier?

That's a great idea. Would love to hear your glimmers! We can make this a check-in point when I am here, if you would like? ✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Feeling really blergh today @AuntGlow

I want to work on getting my food back under control. I need to work on shifting my mornings somehow. I need to work on seeing the good things.

We have daylight savings here. So once it gets warmer, our days get longer. So it doesn't get dark until like 9 pm, so I hibernate less. Lawn bowls starts, which means training and games every Saturday - which means more social opportunities.

I'd like that.

Today my glimmer is...that one of our teachers is Irish and he brought his bag pipes into the school today. We ended the day with an impromptu bagpipe march through the school.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Blergh is allowed - I feel this way often! @NightFury

Okay, so food, mornings, good things - what is one thing you could work on tomorrow?

Ah, that sounds soo nice. I am excited to hear about lawn bowls and how it feels for you to reconnect with community more often. I am sure your grandad will be smiling, knowing you're keeping his legacy alive and doing what makes you happy. 🥰

Wow! That sounds really delightful and so much fun for the students. 🤩

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I've also worked with children who have been through the system. It's so hard and can be so traumatic for them.

I met a foster couple once. They are both young. The husband said, Why wouuld we want our own children when there are so many other children out there who need a home? They were even willing to forgo a holiday and be on standby if they had kids land on their doorstep.

Have you heard of the program they have in NSW where they get trained professionals to foster kids who are struggling with residential care? These are kids who can't be housed due to their complex needs. So the state pays professional psychologists, therapists, teachers etc, the same wage, to look after these children.

Besides that, I read that your day was pretty average today. Anything we can do to make it even a little easier?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have to go and have more blood tests in the morning @AuntGlow so tomorrow I can work on how to start my day, try and get it started in a more positive mindset. I get half an hour extra sleep in, then bloods taken, then I'll take myself out for breakfast before heading off to work.

I hope I can shift out of this blergh feeling from today though before that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

They sound like special people @tyme

I haven't heard of that program before, but it sounds like a valuable one.

No, but thank you for asking, I appreciate it. I've been all over the place today, and had some grief and some spirally thoughts to manage and some SH. I'm safe and okay. On top of feeling dizzy and exhausted and headachey from med withdrawals.

I'm in bed now. I have no wood left for my fire, and it's freezing so bed is keeping me warm and I have Luna snuggled up sleep breathing beside me. I'm going to sleep soon.

@AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Proud of you for getting your tests done @NightFury. I actually finally went and got my bloods/ECG done too - Now I am just waiting on results... I shall keep you posted!

I think even taking yourself out for breakfast and easing into your day is a nice way to reset your mornings! Do you have a favourite brunch spot? And do you ever take a journal or a book with you?

I hope you and Luna get some very well-deserved rest tonight. 😴

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Please let me know how you go @AuntGlow

I will just be heading to a bakery that's close to work and close to where I go to get my bloods done. It's easier. And they do a good cup of coffee.

Sometimes I take a journal or a book with me - I haven't in a long time though. I find that I people watch a lot, and get distracted by people and sounds around me. It's kind of a thing where I inadvertently tune into everything around me and am on the look out - for what, I'm not sure.

Thank you AuntGlow, I wish the same for you too.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Rest up @NightFury

Please take care and look after yourself. I can hear that grief can take hold sometimes. It is natural and expected. So this makes it even more important to go easy on yourself.

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