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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

I hate answering that question at the moment @Jynx


Ha! Mooooood. Sometimes have to roll the dice on how truthful we are when responding to that one hey! Mainly for me it's about protecting my peace and not opening up conversations I am not ready to have.

I am okay, some ups and some downs, but I had a lot of downtime so I got some nice restful arvos, couple days where I got to do very little!

You got an interview coming up? What for hun?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@JynxI'm glad you got a few days to have some proper downtime.

I don't think I want to face the honesty about how and where I'm at, currently. But there are also some things and some feelings that I'm not ready to talk about yet. I takes a certain amount of vulnerability to really admit to yourself and to others where you sit and how you are.

Yes, I have a job interview on Wednesday. For a permenant teaching position to start in 2026 with the Department of Ed, so government schools. My job at the moment is in a Catholic School and is only until December of this year.

I have a big week coming up - I had to wear a heart rate monitor and have blood tests a couple of weeks ago. I get those results after work tomorrow. I've already looked at my medical records and blood tests results, there are some concerns. I have a job interview on Wednesday and it's my Nan's 11 year memorial. Thursday is my Grandad's funeral. I'm taking Friday off work to give myself some time. I have an assignment due on Sunday and sometime next week, the real estate wants to bring a potential buyer through my house (the landlord is selling it).

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx just wanna say...I've missed you, my friend.

If chatting to me brings up some feelings for you given that we're going through something similar...

It's okay if you're not keen to support and be in this space tonight.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

These are great ways to soothe yourself, I really like this answer. @NightFury

If you feel comfortable, I encourage you to notice where you feel the least amount of discomfort in your body, and see what happens if you breathe into that space. There may be resistance, and that's okay, but I am curious to hear what happens when you redirect some of your attention towards a lighter sensation.

Let me know how you go - there's no right or wrong.

I get this and I know how much the interview means to you. Know that you have everything you need if you can gently meet yourself where you're at. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sitting in front of the fire and paying attention to my breathing has helped @AuntGlow

The place I feel the least discomfort is in my hands. When I tried to focus my breathing into them, it felt like static on my hands. They got tingly. Which also served to take my attention off of the anxious, stirred up feelings in my solar plexus and restless legs. It's not easy to hold that attention though.

AuntGlow with the interview, even though it's important to me, I really don't want to put any pressure on myself. I'd like to go into it calm, and centred.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Aww hugs @NightFury you are very kind. I think that for me, I find a lot of comfort in solidarity, and honestly it feels nice to be able to come into work after such a heavy thing and actually be able to talk about it/not have to put on a brave face. I think that's incredibly special. But same to you hun, if you do or don't want to talk about your loss, you just let us know ok?

Also, that is a HUGE week hun! I can imagine your brain feels very full 🙃

How you feeling about the interview?

Glad you took some time off. And I can be a lil flag waving beacon of support to encourage your assigmenting over the weekend if you like!! I'll audition, here -

YOU CAN DO IT!

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

YOU ARE AN UNPARALLELED FORCE OF NATURE AND THIS ASSIGNMENT WILL BOW BEFORE YOU!

Teehee 😉

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx your assignment encouragement/support made me smile. Thank you.

My brain is foggy, and confused. I'm doing things like...yesterday, walking through a sliding door, on the side of glass panelled entry way, at the supermarket and then forgetting how to use the same sliding doors on the way out. I walked straight up to a section of window that is clearly not a door and stood in front of it wondering why it wouldn't open. I felt like such a fool. I've been spacing out on people in the middle of conversations then having to apologise because I spaced out on them. My brain is overloaded.

I'm feeling kinda nervous about the interview, but the last thing I want to do is put a whole lot of pressure on myself right now.

By the way, you've got the flag waving beacon of assignmenting support job...if you want it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx @AuntGlow can I be honest with something?

I haven't taken my meds consistently this week and I feel it. I know that I need to get back on track and make a conscious effort to be better with it.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I've been thinking about you a lot. I know how hard it is for you at this time. We are all sitting with you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @tyme

Thank you for thinking of me. It helps to know that there are people here who are sitting with me.

How are you?

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