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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm not sure how I'm feeling about the job interview. Maybe a little nervous? I haven't had much opportunity to prepare. To be honest, I'm not sure how to prepare.

I'm not sure how I'm feeling about a lot of things at the moment. I don't have a lot of clarity and my ability to make decisions isn't working well. Even the small ones like what to eat for dinner. I feel very scattered and very foggy.

Do you have any tips for optimising this week?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for your kind words @ENKELI

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon @NightFury,

How are you feeling today?

Regarding your interview, maybe there doesn't need to be too much preparation! Personally, I tend to research the organisation so I can talk about aligned values/ethos and then go over the position description to look at my relevant/transferable skills. I also like think about what I want to learn from the new role and how I can evolve within the company. But overall, I think people hire your heart. (Sounds a bit wanky, but I mean it!) If you're passionate, they will be too. And I think you have buckets of passion to bring to the table. 🥰

Feeling scattered and foggy is perfectly understandable, I would be as well.

I think focusing on the very basics of what you need to do would be helpful, because your body and mind are likely using a lot of energy to hold your grief... which is why keeping things simple will help to keep your daily structure, without overloading your nervous system. Making time for self-care sounds really important right now too. What could you do today? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I had an okay morning @AuntGlow.

I caught up on housework, and then did an hour and a half of study. But I've crashed a little now. I feel really anxious, and jittery in my body, but at the same time super drained mentally.

Good tips about preparing for the job interview. I might try and read over the position description and revisit my response to the position criteria that I had to send in with the application. It might help me to feel a little more prepared if I try to do those things leading up to it.

My self care this afternoon - I wanted to have a movie afternoon, and just relax a little, but my anxiety feelings are making it hard at the moment. I don't feel settled.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sending you big hugs of support and condolences @NightFury. I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my grandma, just before my time off. So some extra hugs of solidarity my friend. It's so hard hey.

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

My condolences to you @Jynx welcome back.

Hugs!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Aww ty @NightFury

How are you going my dear?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hate answering that question at the moment @Jynx

I'm not sure.

How are you? How was your break? Tell some good things from your time off?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like there's a lot going on internally right now @NightFury. I am sure a movie afternoon would be really nourishing, but I understand how tough it can be to relax when there's a subtle buzz of anxiety present... what is one thing you could do to soothe your nervous system? Something really easy and accessible?

I like that idea! Also, check-in with us so we can give you a little pep-talk beforehand. 💪💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The only answer I have at the moment @AuntGlow is to sit in front of the fire and work through some breathing exercises.The next option is a warm shower, PJ's and my weighted blanket.

A pep-talk would be good. I just...I know I need to do the interview for my 2026 future and career prospects, but at the moment, it's hard.

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