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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Did you have your interview @NightFury ? Been thinking about you

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I did @tyme I'll tag you in the response I just wrote to AuntGlow so that I'm not writing the same thing over again.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ooo @NightFury . We must've been posting at the same time. Ive just read your response.

It's totally up to you if you think you are ready.

Just SAY you are not ready, can you reapply later?

We will support you with whatever you decide. Also, you don't need to decide right now if you are feeling emotional. Perhaps you can have a think about it and get back to them later?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And @tyme @AuntGlow I didn't feel comfortable answering some of her questions. I lied to her. I don't know why.

She asked about the last time I had SH and I lied about that, and she asked when the last time I'd had SI and I lied about that.

I'm not comfortable with the fact that I felt like I had to lie. And I'm not comfortable with it now.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I completely understand this feeling... it's a lot to consider undertaking further counselling whilst you're trying to wrangle lots of responsibilites - it takes a lot out of us to show up in our vulnerability. I am wondering though, would it be helpful to have someone you can turn to during this time?

I know you mentioned that is was hard feeling like you 'lied' and that it's not sitting well with you... I think we owe this part of you some compassion and understanding. It seems like she is trying her absolute best and maybe being honest simply felt too much for her to hold right now?

I know there's a lot of weight and fear that can accompany confiding in and trusting another human, so I can imagine that it would be really big to let someone in again... but maybe it's okay to try this and take it slow? To meet yourself where you're at without pressure or force. 🥰 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

As it stands right now @AuntGlow no final decisions made though, and your questions make sense - my first response is tears and "I don't want to."

I also don't want to let you guys down or disappoint you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

When you're ready, maybe you can explore why you don't want to? But for now, it sounds like it's flooding your nervous system - so I would love it if you could take tonight to just be there for you. Do something that helps you to feel joyful or safe. Know that you don't need to decide right now. 💛

You absolutely won't let us down or disappoint us. @tyme will agree with me on this one, I am sure.

We just want you to feel okay. I will check in when I am back on Sunday. 🤗

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Is it better to park it for tonight @NightFury ? Just use tonight to practice some self-care?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme @AuntGlow yeah, sounds like a good plan.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I just don't want to over think it tonight.

We can revisit it another day; you may feel clearer @NightFury

My planning day today turned into just doing everything that was thrown at me, so I feel like I'm on top of things which is good.

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