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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme well done on getting to the point where you feel like you're on top of things.

Did your kidlets dress up for book week?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes.

One was a character from Babysitters club

Another was Tiny Tim

The other was Little Red Riding hood @NightFury

Book week is too stressful for me lol.

What did you dress up as?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme book week is a lot, but generally the kids love it.

I really don't like participating in dress up days, and I really wasn't feeling it, but I did make a little bit of an effort. I wore a dragon onesie and went as Elliot, from Pete's Dragon. It's one of my favourite movies.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes, you did mention that already. So you've had it already? Some kids don't have it until tomorrow @NightFury

Do you have a list of things you need to do for tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We had it on Wednesday @tyme some of the kids in my class went all out with their costumes and props. I had one who built a whole Magic School Bus out of cardboard.

I haven't thought about that yet...my focus has been on getting through today.

um...

Work - I'm taking the kids to play footy for the school tomorrow.

Do my washing

I'm not sure what else yet. I really want to get off to a good start tomorrow morning, not like today where I really struggled.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Cool re footy!

I grew up in Syd and sport was never a big thing. Our schools were more about performing arts, and music. Then, when I moved to Melb, EVERYTHING here is about footy and sport. It's been a culture shift. I'm still not a sports fan.

I've got a few things to tackle tomorrow... just emails I need to send and stuff like that. I still haven't cleared my brain to see what needs to be done as part of future planning... do that's another job I need to do.

@NightFury

What about the weekend? I know you said one day at a time... but can you plan something nice for the weekend?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I grew up around sport. I did Little Athletics growing up and hated it as I got older. I was so useless at the majority of the events, and it was embarrassing. As an adult I played women's AFL, netball and I absolutely loved playing and coaching women's cricket. I also had a few years of doing CrossFit, and running half marathons. I grew up around Lawn Bowls and am just getting back into that. I'm not all that sporty any more.

Do you have a process for clearing your brain?

I'm helping my brother move on Saturday. He rang me and asked, and I felt like I was in a position where saying no wasn't fair. I will need his help with moving soon enough.

I don't know about Sunday yet. It might be a day to plan something for myself. I just want to stay at home and be a couch potato, but maybe that's not helpful at the moment.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I tend to write things down if I need to clear my brain. That's when my sticky notes comes out and I write down everything I need to do. In fact, I might start my ticky notes tonight. @NightFury

Do you have a wind own routine for tonight?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sounds like you're motivated @tyme why not run with it while you have it?

Kind of...

I have a routine that I go through every night.

Tonight might be different though. I think I need to tap out and head to bed soon.

I've had dinner, had a hot shower and I'm sitting by the fire watching TV.

I try to head to bed between 10 and 10.30 most nights because my alarm goes off at 5 am. I would normally take my sleep med around twenty minutes before bed. Take Luna out for a wee, put as much wood as I can on the fire to try and keep it burning over night, brush my teeth and curl up in bed. I'll check my alarm is set and after that, my med has kicked in and I'm very close to being asleep.

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