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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Smiling Minds is worth a try @tyme might be a good one before bed. I've been trying to remember my breathing.

@AuntGlow I would like some support with that, if you have time and opportunity.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Smiling Minds is a great idea. @NightFury

I think allowing myself to cry when I am experiencing grief is really helpful - crying and holding myself, speaking out what I am feeling, and creating space for that part of me to really be heard. Often the intensity of the feeling becomes less when I do this. I wonder if this is something you could try? I'll be here. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The tears have tried to fall tonight @AuntGlow and I keep pushing them down. I don't know if I can release them.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

Smiling Minds is worth a try @tyme might be a good one before bed. I've been trying to remember my breathing.

@AuntGlow I would like some support with that, if you have time and opportunity.


@NightFury , I'l be turning on a smiling mind program soon.

What is on your list tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I just want to get through today...

But the things I know...

Work and after work I have to be home to let the Real Estate photographer in, so they can take photos for when they list this house for sale.

You?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay, maybe it's too much for right now. @NightFury 💛

Could you still practice giving yourself a hug, or wrapping yourself up in a blanket? Maybe even hugging Luna?

If that doesn't feel accessible, would a warm shower or some gentle movement/breathing be comfortable?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I totally get you when you said about getting through today. It's been a big day for you.

I'm wrapping up now, but tomorrow, I might tackle a few more things from my sticky note. I also hope to drop off some food to a family. Then... I'm not sure.

Pleaes take care and I'll catch you next time @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hugging Luna is always an option. @AuntGlow she's been giving me lots of hugs.

I tried doing the self hug thing last night, it just doesn't feel right. But I did cry some tears...a few...and tried talking my thoughts and feelings outloud. When I'm really struggling and I'm emotional, I'll lay on my front and turn my face away. The pressure helps. I did that tonight while letting a few tears fall.

And I'll hug a pillow. I used to have one of those body pillows that I would hug. I'd curl up around it in a big hug. Maybe I need another one of those...

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @tyme I'm sorry, I'm hard work tonight.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good @NightFury 🥰

That's okay, it's really wonderful to hear that you trying new things.

I wish I could take away all of your fear and pain tonight, but the one thing I can do, is remind you that this feeling won't be forever - but whilst you are feeling this way, know that it is valid and allowed to be there.

I find hugging a body pillow really helpful too, I hope this allows you to get some rest tonight.

I will chat to you tomorrow. 💛

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