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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay @NightFury, I hope you're okay. I will be here if you need me. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm safe for now @AuntGlow but not doing okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, try to remember that it's okay to feel what you are feeling... maybe some self-soothing will help? Or a call to a helpline? A cuddle with Luna could go a long way too. @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow can you sit with me?

I just got off the line with a helpline.

I can't do TW's on my phone, if it needs, can you pop it in one, please?

I went to see my Grandad this afternoon. As soon as I walked through the door, I could hear him calling for help. I walked in and he was having a hard time with his breathing. I can still hear him calling for help. I went looking for a nurse and found kitchen staff, who found a nurse. It took half an hour for her to come, he asked for his breathing meds, she told him she'd go and get them. It took another half an hour...and all the time he was calling out for help. She eventually told him that he couldn't have his meds because he'd had them not long ago. He argued with her, called her a liar, and got really upset. He kept telling her, "it's not fair." I sat with him for two hours, willing him to take each next breath. My Dad wouldn't answer his messages and I had to push down my own emotions. I wanted to run...but when he sent me away, told me to go home...I didn't want to leave him.

I had a panic attack while driving home, and one in the shower.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I just read your post above. That sounds so stressful. No wonder you are struggling. Well done on reaching out to a helpline.

Please know you can call them again if you need to.

What would be helpful for you on the forums at this time?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh @NightFury, this would have been so incredibly hard for you to witness. My heart is with you right now... seeing someone we love in pain is never easy.

I can see how much you care about him, so it's only natural that this would be impacting you.

Panic is always a tough one to manage when things are so out of our control.

What do you think you need most right now? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I handed in my assignment last night after I finished it @NightFury . How are you going?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme well done on handing in your assignment.

I don't know the answer to your question

though from your first post. I'm sorry. I didn't know how to answer the counsellor on the crisis line when they asked me what I needed from them either.

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything on here @tyme

I need to figure out a way to stay regulated tonight @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

That's totally okay. Sorry for throwing those questions at you.

I'll be led by you. Just let us know what would be helpful for the moment to help you stay regulated. A smiling mind program? You can look up a 'stress' program to do.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's okay, you're allowed to ask for help here. And honestly, not knowing what to say is really understandable with all that is going on for you. @NightFury

Maybe we can work on some regulation together? 💛

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