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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

So, the tears haven't finished. You acknowledging those big feelings- fear and pain - has brought them forward again.

Good night @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How are you feeling today @NightFury? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Today's been a little better than yesterday @AuntGlow how are you?

I'm sore, across the shoulders and in my neck. I feel calmer.

Honestly, I don't really know what to do with myself at the moment so I'm going day by day.

I'm struggling still with some random unhelpful thoughts and my heart is sad.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I get that. I was also having a hard day yesterday, so I was really empathising with all that you were sharing. What I encouraged you to do in order to self-soothe, I was also doing for myself! @NightFury 🥰

I am glad you are feeling calmer. Are you comfortable with massage? I wonder if that would be helpful? I am going to my myotherapist tomorrow for some massage myself, it seems to help release tension.

Day by day is more than okay. Were you working?

Can you allow those thoughts and feelings to be there and gently redirect your attention to what you're doing at the moment? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm sorry that your day was tough yesterday @AuntGlow are you okay? Can I do anything?

I need a massage, buy I really don't like them. A work mate booked me in a massage a couple of months ago because I was complaining about being sore - it was just a 30 minute, back and shoulders. But I wanted it to be over. It hurt, I couldn't relax, everytime she touched me my body clenched. And then, I couldn't get the feeling off my skin for days.

I went to work today. When I got home, I had to wrangle Luna while the real estate photographer went through and took photos and then I did some of my diamond dot painting, and had a warm shower. I have dinner on and Luna and I have just sat down in front of the TV.

I'm just...trying to work through them...

I'm feeling like I might be a little too difficult at the moment. I have too much happening and I'm not sure I should be posting here at the moment, or like...reaching out, interacting, connecting. I feel like I'm too much - like me and my current challenges take up too much space. It's one thing after the other and it's a lot...I know it's a lot. Everything is messy. I am messy.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Aw, you're sweet! I am okay at the moment, I have allowed myself to feel and process, as well as chatted to my mum and a friend. I appreciate you asking @NightFury.

Oh, it sounds like massage isn't for you (that's okay!). What about an infrared sauna or something? 🤔

It sounds like today had a bit of productivity and relaxation involved, which is great. How are you winding down this evening?

You're not too much at all, but I can hear that maybe some time to process might be helpful... you are always allowed to come here and be your wonderfully messy self! We are all messy.

Connection could really help you to get through this more challenging time - often, the thing we resist the most, is the thing we need the most. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey hun @NightFury ,

We all go through crappy times.

Whilst we may not be able to 'fix' things, we are here to walk alongside you. It's a way of complementing the support you are getting outside the forums so you feel less alone.

I know you feel you are 'messy'.. I just want to say, that it wasn't all that long ago that I was the messiest of the messy and totally messsed up!

I'm not a special person, so I guess if recovery happpened for me, it makes me even more determined to see others experience too!

You deserve it.

Feel free to share your tasks for tomorrow if that helps!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know if I am effectively winding down tonight @AuntGlow. I'm feeling pretty anxious, but I'm okay. I have the TV on, and I'm watching Alone while laying in front of the fire. I'm glad you're doing okay for now and had some people to reach out to.

@tyme your reply has made me feel the feelings, but in a good way. I'm glad to hear from you tonight.

I don't want to do this alone, but I think sometimes my anxious brain, my emotional reactivity and triggers are too much.

Tomorrow...

- having bloods taken before work

- out for breakfast following that

- it's Wednesday so it's late start day, but I am off to work tomorrow

- after work, I'm supposed to have a phone appointment with a service my SANE guided recovery counsellor recommended, but I don't know if I'm going or not yet.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Nice @NightFury !

Thanks for sharing your day tomorrow!

The brekkie out sounds so nice!

I actually ordered takeaway lunch today, so that was my treat.

Have you got the results of your heart monitor yet?

All the best with the appointment tomorrow.

Go easy on yourself.

I'll be thinking of you when you are having your nice brekkie out in the sunshine. 🙂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thanks @tyme

I haven't gotten my results back yet. I didn't book a follow up appointment because I wanted to wait until I had my bloods done and then book for the results at the same time.

They said it would take three business days for the results to be sent back to the GP and they would get back to me if it picks up anything urgent. So three days is tomorrow!

I don't know if there will be much sunshine. It was -1 this morning and really icy. But we'll wait and see.

How did you go with your to do list?

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