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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I genuinely think this is such a positive outcome. You were able to regulate and ground enough to get some sleep (on your own!). This shows that your body and mind are definitely recalibrating. Big win! @NightFury

Hi @MissGremlin! How are you today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It took some time @AuntGlow but I got there. Thank you for your encouragement.

I was just talking to my Dad. He told me my Granddad is going down hill quickly. They have put him on meds to make his breathing more comfortable, but he and Dad were discussing his wishes today and what he wants to happen.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You're welcome. @NightFury

Oh wow, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how painful this news must be... how are you feeling? Do you want to talk about it at all? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It breaks my heart a little @AuntGlow

It's not unexpected. He did turn 90 a couple of weeks ago and he has been ill. He has emphysema and a few other health things going on. I knew when I moved home that I was coming home to spend time with him before he passed.

But it breaks my heart a little. Hearing the news has made me feel sad. I need to go and see him soon.

It's one thing on top of the other for me at the moment.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ! How cute is Luna!

For some reason, I still had it in my head that she was a labrador even though I remember you telling me she wasn't.

Does Luna need regular trims?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

She's a Blue Heeler X Border Collie @tyme and probably with a few other breeds thrown in for good measure. I rescued her when she was six weeks old from a girl whose dog had 13 puppies and she couldn't afford to care for them or get them seen by a vet.

She's double coated, and has super thick furr. I like to keep her short so that her furr is manageable. She mats around her bottom and gets really hot.

She's a funny, anxious thing and won't tolerate clippers, so I sit with a pair of scissors and clip her. She lays down and let's me do it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

So she needs grooming and doesn't shed? Argh... I can't handle dogs that shed. The hair everywhere is stressful! Hence I refuse to have carpet in my house - not even a single rug!

Are you going to work tomorrow? What's on your list of things?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

She does shed @tyme but less so when she's kept short. I don't really notice that she sheds a lot though. I used to have Luna and three other pets and the shed was just ridiculous, so I guess in comparison one dog is easy.

I have work tomorrow.

After work, I need to take my car to the car wash and go and see my Grandad. Then home to vacuum and mop the floors ready for the real estate to bring the photographer through on Tuesday after work hours.

How's your weekend been? What does your Monday look like?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Of course 😔 @NightFury

How have you been spending time with him? And is there anything you'd like to do for him when you see him next? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I haven't been in to see him as often as I should.

I saw him at his birthday celebration and sometimes I'll just call into see him after work, sit with him for a bit and chat.

I just want to see him AuntGlow, to sit and chat.

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