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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @NightFury.

Oh gosh, that would be really hard and uncomfortable, I'd be feeling the same! The not being able to shower too, gah. How is it feeling now?

Whoah! It sounds like there are actually a lot of reasons to leave, and whilst it might be a bit uncomfortable to transition from your current place, you may be really happy where you land?

How are things on the job-front? Have you been prepping for your interview?

Your fears around uncertainty and needing safety are so, so valid. It's scary, I truly get this.

Oh, yay! It must be nice to have your new washing machine and to have had it installed for you, what a win! Does it work well?

I am so glad you allowed yourself time to rest and sleep, that's of the utmost importance right now - you come first! 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've just been pacing trying to convince myself it's time to go to bed @AuntGlow so much anxiety about this contraption that's strapped to my chest.

I haven't been prepping for my interview, not yet anyway. It's actually been the last thing on my mind.

I have an assignment due on Sunday and I just can't get motivated or interested in it. I've been trying to study and do some research. I'm going to get a terrible mark.

There's just been a lot happening.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh gosh, it really does sound uncomfortable for you. How can you make your environment most comfortable right now? @NightFury

That's totally fine, you have a lot going on.

Regarding your assessment... maybe you just need to tick the boxes for this one? Perhaps it's allowed to just be okay?

There has. I will be back on Saturday to check-in and we can talk more then. I hope you get some rest, and remember, this feeling isn't forever. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @AuntGlow take care of yourself.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury

I can really relate to the pressure studies and assignments bring, for me the stress I put on myself is often heavier that the tasks themselves.

When mental health challenges and anxiety are added to the mix, it can make concentration harder, increase overwhelm and leave us feeling like we're not reaching our full potential. That's such a tough place to be.

What has helped me is reaching out to my place of study for support. They've been able to offer adjustments that make it easier to meet requirements and continue my learning journey in a way that feels more manageable. I also have to work on my level of perfection at times, and be more realistic about what I can achieve with where I'm at mentally at that particular time, and sometimes... my work may not be exceptional, but it's good enough. If you haven't already, it might be worth contacting your university to ask about what considerations and adjustments they can provide so you feel supported too.

Please also remember to be kind to yourself, take breaks, get some fresh air, avoid to much caffeine, rest when you can and remind yourself that your're doing your'e very best. With everything you're carrying, the effort you're putting in is something to be proud of.

Kindly Alisse

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hey @NightFury sucks to hear how uncomfy the monitor is!! it's coming off today right? hopefully you're able to have a nice warm shower and feel comfier!!

oh wow! although your current living space provides a roof over your head, it seems like you don't feel safe and satisfied there either. you know that saying around how the universe finds a way? i wonder if this is the universe's way of giving you that 'push' to find a better place... it may be a good thing but i do see that the timing isn't the best and you've got a lot on your plate already. i have no doubt that you can get through this, we're here for you.

i hope that this weekend provides you with some time to rest up and process/plan things. 💙

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @rav3n I am now free of the monitor and I've had a lovely and hot shower!

Thank you for the vote of confidence. I'm not sure that I believe I can get through this, so, it's nice to have others who can hold that belief for me when I can't.

I hope your day's been a good one.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ooh @NightFury just hopping in here because I can so relate to that relief of being able to shower again after getting the holter off! Normally not showering for 24 hrs would be okay as I'm a once a day shower person, but I think just knowing that you can't shower means I focused on it more and just couldn't wait to do it haha. Hopefully your results come back all clear!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I used to be very much a one shower a day person @Ru-bee and it was part of my morning routine. I'm not awake and functioning until I've had a shower and a cup of coffee. But, I've started using a warm shower of a night as a strategy to help my body wind down, and to calm myself after a big day of work. I've also started using it as a regulation strategy and as part of my safety plan...

So, showers have become important to me and happen more on a needs basis now. I need to have my morning shower, but sometimes I also need to be able to have a shower at other times of the day/night to help regulate or to relax my body.

I'm also kind of sensory, and my skin is angry and gets itchy, and showers help to calm the sensory overload.

Finger's crossed for good results.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for your reply @Alisse I'm hard on myself when it comes to study, especially if I don't achieve high marks. I put a lot of pressure on myself.

I don't feel like I'm doing very well in a number of areas of my life, and study is one of them.

I haven't been able to secure adjustments from my uni. They are unable to help without a diagnosis. I don't have a diagnosis...yet. I've only just started working with a psych and have only been medicated for a couple of months. I'm hoping to get a letter from my psych to give to the Uni but I don't know if that will happen in a time. I only have one unit to go, and then this course will be complete. I'm not sure whether I'm going to continue on with studying a Masters in Child and Adolescent Mental Health.

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