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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm sorry to hear about the rental @NightFury .

With all this going on, does it affect your heart too? Is this something you need to communicate to your doc?

I can hear how stressful things must be for you now. I know first hand how hard moving is.

Do you have people to help you with moving? But then again, is it easy to find a rental?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I know that when I'm super anxious, it impacts my heart beat and makes my heart race, so it might be something they should know.

I have a lot going on...it's too much.

It isn't easy to find a rental, and I have a dog which makes it harder. I got lucky with this one. If he's around when it comes time to move, my Dad will help.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What? So you found a place already? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme no, I haven't. I got lucky with the rental that I'm currently in. The one that the landlord is selling.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh. Sorry. My brain is confused. Arghhh.... so house hunting now. Well... remember to look for a fireplace with a not-glued-on handle 🙂 @NightFury (jokes)

But seriously, I hope you find something. How long do you have?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No need to apologise @tyme

I got reassurance today that they will honour the rest of my lease, so I have until the first week in December. I have time.

I'm just...fighting shut down from overwhelm.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme Good night, my friend.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hey @NightFury hoping that your heart monitor appointment went okay, sending you extra strength and love 💗

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury! How are you feeling today? 💕

I am sorry for my delay, I was feeling unwell at the end of my last shift - but I am back!

To respond to your last message to me: upending your life because you were feeling unwell is such a valid reason for making this change. I think it's so important to be kind to the parts of yourself that were trying to seek safety.

There's a few changes happening in my life that I am feeling really vulnerable about... changes I have had to make many times now and it's easy to fall into the pattern of self-blame. But I am trying to look at where the opportunities for growth and evolution are. Is this something you could explore too?

Learning to reach out when you are feeling heightened is absolutely brilliant, and knowing you now have some tangible self-care strategies to turn to is amazing.

I can see you had yesterday off work! How was it for you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm glad you're back and feeling better!

I've had the heart rate monitor fitted this afternoon and I'm trying hard to work through the physical and sensory ick of it being on me, and the heightened anxiety that it's on me and what it could possibly pick up. Also, it's not sitting well with me that I am not allowed to have a shower for 24 hours because I can't get it wet. My brain goes into "get it off me, get it off me" mode. I don't like it.

Part of me wants to acknowledge that moving could possibly be a good thing. This house has faults and things that are often a concern and that go wrong - it has water leaks, outside drains that when it rains they fill and overflow with sewage water, a wood heater handle that's broken, and it has no insulation and is freezing cold. It's also in a questionable neighbourhood with a regular police presence, and hooning cars, and partying people. When I'm honest, I can admit that I have often been in the frame of mind that I can't stay here.

But I'm not quite sure how to move past the...uncertainty, the fear that comes up around this for me, the fact that it feels like such an impersonal thing - and that I don't matter, and the fact that it challenges my feelings around being safe, around stability and how important that is for me at the moment.

My day off yesterday okay. It was a rough morning, but I started to feel better after I had a sleep in the afternoon. I didn't get out of bed until 10, and it was kind of good timing that I got a phone call at about 10.30 to say that they were delivering my new washing machine and that was totally unplanned for and unexpected. Then after they delivered it and installed it, I fell asleep on the couch again.

I got hit with some pretty bad anxiety around bedtime last night and I don't think I slept well - in spite of being medicated, but I do feel less exhausted today as a result of giving myself some time to rest and sleep yesterday.

@rav3n

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