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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've also just taken the day off tomorrow @AuntGlow @tyme

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Whooooooohoooooo!

Well done! You totally deserve it.

Soooo, while you're on it, what are your 'plans' for tomorrow? Your plans can totally be not to have plans! @NightFury

I just want to re-iterate that it is totally okay to take a day off here and there if it will support you so you don't have to take a month off for being burnt out.

You have been pushing on for a long time, and I know how hard it is to take time off and not feel guilty. But remember your own MH and wellbeing. If there's no you, there's no teacher at all.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't deserve it, but I have to take it @tyme I've crashed tonight...hard...and I need tomorrow to take care of me.

So, my plans for tomorrow...are to do whatever I need to do to take care of me and sort my head out.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

At least you've taken that step. I'm sorry to hear that you've crashed. It sounds so hard.

Please do what you can to show youself some self-care and compassion.

Journal, go for a walk, go out for a coffee, sleep in a bit.

@NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

How are you? How was your day off today?

Hope you are okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I feel like I slept for most of the day. I didn't get up till 10 and had a nanna nap at like 2.30 pm. My new washing machine was delivered, so it was lucky I was home.

How was your day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You must feel like a new person! Seriously, as hard as things are, once you have a good sleep, it can make a huge difference @NightFury . It give you more energy and stamina to push through the difficulties.

So good to hear your machine came! No more laundromat hours!

What's on the agenda tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm looking forward to not having to go to the laundromat. @tyme it had really started to feel like a drain on my time.

Tomorrow I have work and then an appointment with the nurse to get a heart rate monitor put on. It stays on for 24 hours and then I have to go back and have it taken off on Friday after work.

What does your day look like? How are you going with the sticky notes?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh! I thought you've already had the monitor on. All the best with it. Does that mean you are off tomorrow too?

As for the sitcky notes, they didn't move today. Rather, I spent the morning helping out a family who is struggling. So I gave them 3 luggage bags of newborn baby stuff and just helped them out in general. So that took up most of my time, but it was rewarding.

Then in the arvo, I picked up the kiddos from school and got them starbucks. I offered to take them to the park for a short time, but they wanted to go home.

So yeah... that was my day.

As for tomorrow, I hope to tackle the sticky notes a bit. That's my goal. But who knows what will get thron my way!

Also, I did not understand this entirely, but something about your rental??? (Totally good if you don't want to talk about it). @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Nah, I'm back to work tomorrow. @tyme I have to go about my normal day with the monitor on. It goes on after work, and I'll have to sleep in it and wear it through my work day on Friday.

It sounds like it was a good day. It's amazingly kind of you to help them out when they're struggling. Then your time with the kids sounds like fun. I bet they enjoyed spending time with you and getting Starbucks.

So, my landlord is selling my rental. The real estate communicated this to me via email late yesterday afternoon.

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