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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Luna and I have curled up on the bed. @AuntGlow

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

i do have to hop off soon but i wanted to let you know that i'll be thinking of you @NightFury

you deserve to have a safe space, you are deserving of good things. i'm sorry that things have been so sucky lately, but i assure you, it's not a reflection of your worth. sending you gentle hugs 💗

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That sounds really nice. Please allow yourself some time to really sink into that comfortable space with Luna. It's okay to feel your feelings fully. We will be here. @NightFury 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm supposed to be studying @AuntGlow not having a meltdown.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think it's really important to allow yourself some time to ground and re-center before pushing yourself to study @NightFury. Do you think you can allow 30 minutes for yourself?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah @AuntGlow

I just hurt right now...at least I have my breathing back.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Having your breathing back is a good sign. What would you like to do for you this evening?

I know that a few things are feeling destablised, but what is still intact? Can we list some things that are still present and sturdy for you? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I need to study @AuntGlow but I don't want to...

The tears stop and then they start again and the thoughts of how I deserve this comes with them.

The only thing that's been sturdy and present for me over the last two years is Luna and it's all my fault.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like some of your core beliefs are coming up, which I really do understand. They come up so easily when we are heightened, don't they? @NightFury

I am so glad you have Luna. I think you can add us onto that list too. 💛

It's a lot to blame yourself for things not working out, because everything you have shared has sounded out of your control. I don't think you could have changed your landlord's decision to sell, even if you tried! I know it can be easy to blame ourselves, but this wasn't your fault. It's just a very unfortunately timed event... but one that could also open doors for you?

I know you said you learned a lot in your recovery sessions - what learnings could be applied to this moment?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow things change here so quickly too, but so far, yes, there are some people here I can add to my list, including you and @tyme

You're right, I couldn't influence their decision to sell. That was out of my hands. But what's come up is that if I hadn't of quit my job, and moved interstate, I probably wouldn't be in this position. I had a permanent job, I had a stable home that was mine while I taught at the school (I lived in a school house). I upended it all because I ran, because I was S and had to change something.

I've just gotten off of a chat with a crisis line - so I guess that's something I've learnt (to reach out when heightened and scared). I'm learning how to manage my self-care and that's something that I need to focus on tonight. I have strategies I can use - learnt from Guided Recovery and from the forums - to try anf support myself when SI and SH thoughts come up in amongst my swirling, spirally thoughts tonight.

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