FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

1,461 - 1,470 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hey @NightFury!! how are you going? how'd you go with your final guided service session?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It was a good appointment @rav3n I'm a little sad and feeling a little lost now that it's over. I'm not sure what support will look like for me moving forward...

I'm a little...fragile today. Not having the best day within myself. Feeling low and super exhausted.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury so so valid to feel this way, sounded like the guided program was quite helpful! there is RecoveryClub too, you get access to the zoom groups but there won't be peer worker/counsellor sessions as it's more 'self-guided'. is that something you'd be interested in?

sorry to hear today's been hard. feeling fragile is usually a sign that we need to be extra gentle with ourselves, is there something you can do tonight to show yourself some gentless/kindness?
did you wanna chat a bit more about what's been weighing on you? no pressure ofc, here to support you in whatever way feels comfy 💗

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Not really sure if I can pin point what's specifically weighing me down today @rav3n so not sure how I'd go chatting about it. I've had a lot going on.

I'm just about to go into a staff meeting, then I need to go home and do some study. Not really a lot of opportunity at the moment to show myself some kindness/gentleness. Which is getting to me, a little.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury hope the staff meeting goes well. has work been okay lately? and how's your studies going?

that's so fair. when there's a lot going on emotionally, it's like everything spills into each others and it's hard to find the 'origin' point. i hope you're able to take a moment after your meeting to acknowledge that today's been a tough day for you, yet you've managed to show up at work, you've reached on the forums, and you've kept moving forward. doing all those things aren't easy at all, and despite the low emotional battery, you got through so much - perhaps that sort of self-talk can be your moment of gentleness today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@rav3n I don't know if you're still here...but can you sit with me please? Or @AuntGlow if you're here?

I just got an email to tell me that the owner is selling my rental. And I'm having a moment....

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

i'm so so sorry to hear that, that's a lot to take in @NightFury but i'm here with you. take a few deep breaths, you're not alone 💗

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi lovely! Gosh, that sounds so stressful... I am sure there's so much going through your mind and body. Would you like to share it with me here? Let's work through the thoughts and feelings slowly. 🥰 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow too much going through my mind...lots of tears and I can't breathe properly.

It's one thing after another, I'm not that strong. I can't any more. I feel like I'm being punished, like life is extra hard because it's a punishment. I just want to settle somewhere, to have a safe space and I keep losing it.

@rav3n

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, you're allowed to cry, this is overwhelming. Can you try and wrap your arms around yourself in a hug? Or maybe rub your arms and legs to create some soothing? @NightFury

I understand why things might feel like punishment. Sometimes life can be extra challenging and it can feel so unfair.

There are a few ways we can work on reframing this, but I want you to honour your feelings first - they are real and valid.

Know that I am here holding space for you. 💛

1,461 - 1,470 of 3,920