FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

1,451 - 1,460 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Wow! You've certainly done a lot! @NightFury

I just want to say, well done 🙂

I've been reading your previous posts and you mentioned a lot about avoidance. I hope you don't feel 'bad' about avoiding things because I believe avoidance has its place. The issue is when you use the strategy of avoidance for most things so that it stops you taking risks as a way to grow and move on - that's when it becomes an issue.

Thoughts?

What's on your agenda tomorrow?

Also, I can share my rested energy with you. Remember, you CAN take a day off if you need to - a day to just be okay with doing nothing.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I do use avoidance a little bit, but it's something that I also work hard to tackle - like going to the GP for the first time in 8 years, and taking steps to seek support from counselling and a psychologist. So, I do avoid, but will also eventually do the work that I've been avoiding. For me, it just takes time to get to the point where I can't avoid it any more, and I know I need to tackle and confront it. Does that make sense?

Tomorrow for me will be work, staff meeting, study, cook dinner. What about you?

I don't want to take your rested energy off of you, so keep it for yourself. You work hard, you deserve to enjoy it.

I want to take a day off so badly.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am with you, that would feel very vulnerable. I think because this is new, it's okay to be extra gentle with yourself right now. How did the session go overall? @NightFury

Thank you, I shall let you know how I go!

How is studying going? Do you play anything in the background to help you focus?

PS: sorry for my delay!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like you are well due for a day off but I'm sure you know when the best time is. I know how much you care about the students and your team, and that is sort of holding you down a bit which is totally understandable too. Take your time. Do what you need to - we're here to support you with whatever you choose.

Your day tomorrow sounds like the typical teacher day lol.

For me, I've got LONG meetings on tomorrow. At least 4 hours of meetings. Then I hope to squeeze some things from my sticky notes.

Then after the meetings, I'll be online here 🙂 So I won't be on until late tomorrow.

So yeah, by day is pretty boring tomorrow 🙂 @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow the session went well. We went over my goals and talked about what was working and the progress I'd made towards them. It was awkward at the end when I told her, "I'll talk to you next time," and then it hit me and I added, "actually, I won't because this is the last time."

The study has been packed up for the night. It's time to start winding down.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We have influenza B going around work and have a lot of kids and staff away with it @tyme so I have to wait for my day off. I put others before me, I know I do it.

Yeah, it's a typical teacher day.

LONG meetings sound kind of painful. I'd need a whole heap of fidgets and things to do to help me focus and get my wriggles out. It sounds like a busy day is on the cards for you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I know this is tough, but I am really glad you decided to do the program and trust another person with your thoughts and feelings. That is such a huge step forward towards healing. @NightFury

I am wondering, what will you take away from your sessions with her? And what is one goal you have for yourself now that you have finished the program?

Winding down sounds very well-deserved. What will it look like tonight? ✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'll answer your last question and think on your others @AuntGlow.

Not sure what winding down looks like tonight. I've got that anxious energy that makes winding down hard - fidgety, going ten to the dozen, quick thoughts.

I've just taken my sleep meds so hopefully they help. You're off, so good night @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @tyme

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlowI woke up feeling kinda fragile this morning.

There have been many take away from my sessions. I think the main one that comes to mind is just that feeling of being supported, of having someone to talk to, and to talk to without judgement. My goals are still a work in progress and so, I would like to continue working on them. And I have a lot of strategies I can use and try to help me manage my anxiety, to help me manage my emotions, to help me with implementing self-care, to help me work through the SH thoughts and icky feelings.

What's one goal for myself now that I've finished the program? I'd like to continue working on my goals and to move forward with them, but I'd also like to learn how to better build and maintain connections. I want to continue to move forward - one step at a time.

1,451 - 1,460 of 3,920