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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have days like that too... and it's so hard knowing what voices to listen to. I guess this is where I always come back to what my body is asking of me, and trying my best to honour its needs. @NightFury

Ahhh! That's SO good. And it will certainly take time for you to come back to a place of balance, and that's okay. It sounds like your poor body and mind are really burnt out... you deserve some rest. What could self-care look like tonight?

Thank you, it's a slow process. haha

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've packed and moved a lot, it's is a slow process @AuntGlow

I just wanna say...I thank you for holding me over the last couple of weeks. I have no doubt that without that, I would have gone over the edge.

I don't know. I guess I'm just in a mood. I'm sorry.

I got home and found the couch and I haven't really had the energy or motivation to move off it. I've taken my sleep meds and I'm going to go to bed soon.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Me too! I am trying to get excited about it because I know the move will be a positive one, but it's certainly laborious. @NightFury

I am so glad I can be here for you. 🥺❤️

That's okay! Maybe you're allowed to just surrender to how you feel and say 'I am not going to try and feel or be anything other than what I am right now.'

Okay, well I hope you get some good rest tonight, I will be back on Sunday and we can chat more then. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The idea of surrendering and just being and feeling what I am now, made me teary @AuntGlow

I hope you have a great weekend.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well, I hope this gives you permission to do just that. It might be exactly what your body needs.

Sleep well @NightFury 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow I hope you're well? And have had a good weekend?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi Queen! ✨

I am okay - I had a migraine with auras yesterday, which was rather overwhelming. It's been a while since I have had them. I totally succumbed to Dr. Google and regret it immensely haha

I am feeling a bit better now, just have to remember to hydrate if I am going to be as physically active as I am trying to be! Amongst this, I was still able to see my partner and some friends, so that was nice. Slowly started packing and have some things to organise for the new place (like gas, etc).

A friend has offered to move me, but I am thinking a truck/removalist would be easier as there are 4 flights of stairs... and that is a lot of work!

I think those are my main updates. What about you? @NightFury 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The whole Queen greeting made me smile. @AuntGlow

I'm glad you're feeling better now. The migrain sounds rough. I used to experience migrains related to the Pill I was on and they were horrible, so I can relate somewhat.

You advised me last week not to Dr Google! It never ends well.

Four flights of stairs is a lot of work and manipulating and moving furniture is hard without having to navigate stairs. It might be easier and quicker to organise a removalist. It's lovely of your friend to offer though!

Updates for me?

I've been sleeping a lot. I slept for nine hours Friday night and then 10 and a half last night and I sat down at lunch time today to have some lunch and fell asleep sitting up on the floor, for about an hour...oops.

I've gotten a lot of jobs done this weekend. I organised my washing, changed the bedding, vacuumed and cleaned the floors, had wood delivered, stacked the wood, did groceries, studied for a while today, went and played lawn bowls.

My mood from Friday has hung around. I've had some issues with SH today and I just feel low. I'm struggling with motivation - I didn't want to be at bowls yesterday, I decided that I didn't want to play this upcoming season, I haven't managed to find the motivation to study (I just went through the motions today because I know I needed to) I don't want to go to work...the lack of motivation and my general mood is grinding on me. I feel like I'm forcing myself to do things, then I get frustrated with myself.

Today I've had some adulting challenges - I got an email to tell me my washing machine isn't coming on Wednesday because of delays with the distributor, and I have a blocked drain outside that keeps filling with sewage water, and my shed door is half off it's hinges somehow. So adulting has proven difficult.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yay! hehe @NightFury

Oh gosh, yes - I am not allowed to go on the pill because of them. They are rough, hey?

I know. 🥲

Yes, I am thinking the same. I will decide tomorrow. Thank you for talking it out with me!

GOOD. I am glad you are sleeping this much, your body needs it. Do you feel a little better for it?

How productive!! What was your favourite part of your weekend?

Hmm, it's okay, you're still recalibrating! It's honestly a lot to expect yourself to simply bounce back, you know? Where do you think the SH voices are coming from today? Can we work towards nurturing them at all?

Adulting truly is hard, and things like this that create discomfort make adulting so much harder - I hear you. 😣

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow they are rough! I'm the same, I can't go on the pill because they give me migrains. I used to get migrains that make me physically sick. And the next day, you feel so wiped out. So take care of yourself, AuntGlow.

I do feel better for it. I'm just frustrated because...I do feel better, I'm no longer anxious about it and I can let it go...to a certain degree. I can let go of the thought patterns around it. But...I also feel down and out and it's hard to explain why. I'm frustrated because...because I thought that getting some sleep would make things change for me.

I think they're coming from that voice in my head - the constant battle I have with the idea that I'm failing. I can't motivate myself to study with any kind of purpose, I can't motivate myself to write an update in my blog, I'm irritable with others and anxious about saying the wrong thing, I'm struggling with work and getting myself up and about for and at work. I can't fix my shed on my own. I can't fix the blocked drain on my own. I can't buy a washing machine without something going wrong.

And I can't reframe my thoughts like I was talking with tyme about last week. I'm stuck in a negative headspace.

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