FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

1,421 - 1,430 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm not going until 7/7:30pm sometime. I'll wait for the next mod to hop on before I hop off so if you need anything, I'm still around a bit @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I had issues today with a student @tyme

He's cornered me before, stood over me and yelled at me, followed me out onto carpark duty yelling at me. While he's only in Grade 6, he's taller then me and knows how to be intimidating.

Yesterday I had to put myself in between him and another boy, because this student was following him up the halls swearing at him and inciting him to fight him. I called leadership to help, then the same thing happened when the bell for the end of the day rang.

Today, he was allowed to play football and his behaviour on the bus was terrible. My TA made the call and the student missed out on playing the first quarter. But he did the same on the way home. I messaged leadership who talked to him after we got back to school, but then he marched up onto the oval pointing his finger at me, yelling.

The principal then came to speak to me and told me that it was an issue I needed to deal with on Monday. Talk to the student and make a decision on what his consequence should be. After the bell went, this student followed the TA down the hallway yelling at him and waving his finger at him.

I just...we've had no support all week. One of our teachers on the Grade 5/6 team was away all week, leaving us short and I was hoping to get some support for dealing with this student.

This boy doesn't respect women and will actively tell them that women shouldn't be doing this, or shouldn't be doing that...and he has said this to me a few times. When he can't get his own way, he tries to intimidate. I just wanted/needed some support and I feel like it missed the mark there.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Are you able to call in the parents for a meeting @NightFury ? Also, aren't there school processes in place which dictates the consequence?

The issue with not letting these kids play a game means they can't be physically acitive - and with a lot of kids, it's what they need.

It sounds so so tough. I wish leadership was more helpful for you.

How are you feeling about it all now?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We've tried to organise meetings with his parents before and they can't or won't come in.

The school process is to involve leadership with serious behavioural concerns and incidences @tyme

I kind of got teary when writing to you about it. It was incidences like this, and situations like this that contributed to serious burn out from teaching a couple of years ago. But I'm also aware of where my own headspace is around work at the moment and I know that contributes too.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Awww @NightFury .

I'm sure you are not alone. I'm sure this is similar to what so many teachers are going through - hence the burnout.

How many years have you been teaching?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I taught for 8 years @tyme in the school system and 5 years before that as an Early Childhood Teacher in a childcare centre.

I burnt out at 8 years, then quit. I wasn't going back to it...

But that changed because I don't know what to do with myself, or who I am if I don't teach...so after 6 months off, I went back to teaching.

I went back to early childhood in QLD last year, was there teaching for six months, before coming back to Tassie and taking the leap back into teaching in the Catholic system...

So...all up...I've been teaching for around 14/15 years.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You're a teaching veteran @NightFury ! 🙂

I'm wrapping up now so I'll check in with you on Monday or so.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Have a good weekend @tyme

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I totally get that - feeling powerless and like we don't have the right support around us is overwhelming to say the least. I am so glad you have the support you need now. It makes sense that leaning into what has happened and feeling safe in the experience is hard, it would feel so foreign. I think it takes time to trust that good can occur when we have experienced adversity or trauma - but I hope that this is a little moment of proof that things can absolutely work out for you. @NightFury 🥰

Catching up on sleep before study is 100% allowed! Are you doing anything restful tonight?

Thank you, today I started packing and did a pilates/yoga class. 🤩

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

It's been a day where my anxious brain's been in control and I am...I don't know.

I actually slept a full night last night, the first in weeks and it gives me hope that things can get better and that I have supports around me...

I'm also very aware of just how close to the edge I was and have been and that it is going to take a little bit of time to inch back from that. I don't know...maybe part of me foolishly thought that as soon as I got a good night's sleep it would all be okay...

I'm not sure that's going to be the case AuntGlow.

I am still so tired and really fragile. I have been pushing and pushing until all I have left is...fumes. So, I know I need to go slowly and gently and I know that my first priority is to self care.

You've started packing? Well done!

1,421 - 1,430 of 3,920