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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

Did you take Luna for a walk? Get yourself a coffee? Go to work?

My list hasn't had anything ticked off yet - I've had all these other things pop up that I had to see to.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

Sounds like you've been busy though...

I took Luna for a walk, I got a coffee, I went to work, I brought a washing machine.

I've decided that study can wait until tomorrow and Sunday. So, won't get that ticked off today.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Woohoo! Well done on getting a washing machine! Then you don't have to go to the laundromatte anymore!

With my household electricty, I pay a monthly $85, and we get 'free' electricity at certain times in the day. So if I have timers, I can set my washing machine, pool cleaner, and car charger to all be on at those times.

Otherwise, utilities bills can be huge! @NightFury

Seriously, if study can wait, go for it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme my last assignment for this unit is due next Sunday, so I'm giving myself a reprieve tonight. I have time.

I know! It'll be such a relief to be able to wash anything, while I'm doing something else. Instead of having to drive half an hour, then sit for and wait while my clothes wash, then drive for another half an hour home. I'll just be able to pop some washing on while I watch TV or something.

Do you have an electric car? It sounds like a good system that you've got going there. My electricity bills aren't a lot. Five days of the week I'm at work, I have wood heating and it's just me and my dog. We don't use a lot.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Nice! The laundromatte would take a lot of time. I know a lot of places have wifi, but still... it's a good 4 hours outta your life that you'll never get back @NightFury !

I hope you can have a good rest and feel refreshed so you can then study.

Yes, I have an electric car. It's the best thing - super easy, fast, powerful, and I haven't filled fuel in 1.5 years! However, I charge it every day because that's just me.

I think my house uses a lot more electricity because I have a heated pool. So the filter and heater is always on.

Oh! And I scored a $1.5k water bill yesterday! Who knows why???? I didn't refill my pool or anything.

What's on your list for tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's it @tyme I need to do some serious self-care and spend some time in rest mode because I don't have a lot left in the tank - running on fumes at the moment.

So, I'm hoping to spend some time doing that tonight and tomorrow and then hopefully hitting the study when I have more capacity. Other wise, I don't take any of it in and I have issues with motivation and I get frustrated because I know that I need self-care when I'm forcing myself to study.

Wow! 1.5 k water bill...that's a bit of a hit to the hip pockets! The electric car sounds like something that's been positive for you, especially if you haven't had to buy fuel in that long.

On my list tomorrow...

- gift myself a slow morning (no rush, no demands, coffee in bed, maybe read some of my book)

- maybe play lawn bowls (weather and mood dependant)

- change the bedding and take them to the laundromat after bowls to wash and dry them.

- vacuum and wash the floors

- perhaps tackle some study in the evening.

What's on your list for tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sounds like a pleasant day for you tomorrow.

@NightFury

I just want to have a rest tomorrow and tackle a few things I'm still yet to do.

The self care you are scheduling in is such a great start.

If you have a washing machine, why do you still need to go to the laundromat?

Do you play lawn bowls with the same people each time? Sounds fun 🙂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme my washing machine's not being delivered until next Wednesday. And my brain doesn't like untidiness, and piles of stuff laying around, so I will just take it while I'm on my way home from bowls tomorrow and just get it done!

I play at the same club every time, so I guess it's with the same people. They get a crowd of close to 50 people come and play of a Saturday during the winter. And they run what they call a random drawer...which means that you could play with any of those 50 people. It's like...a pull a name out of hat kind of thing and those people then form a tem of four and play against another team of four. Hope that makes sense?

I'm a bit conscious and a little worried about how...depleted I feel, so I need to make a conscious effort to try and fill up my tank - hence the self care this weekend.

A rest for you sounds like good self care too!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good on your for pushing through, recognising what you need to do and doing it! That takes a lot of effort to do this! Well done! @NightFury

Enjoy your self care and lawn bowls tomorrow. Sounds so interesting. I've never played. I've watched, but had no idea what was happening.

I'm going to be logging off from here early tonight.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme hope you have a good evening, enjoy your rest time tomorrow too. Hopefully, talk to you soon.

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